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Tell your friend he should restart the computer and not start the game again.
Read the faq about refunds.
Yes, Valve will deny it, as is.
Your friend would need to refund his copy, and once that's gone through, you should be able to refund your purchase. Assuming both he and you are below the two hours/14 days policy limits.
The reason is you can't refund a gift. Because once you gift it, it's no longer your property refund. But if the recipient asks for a refund, it's kinda like they're giving the gift back to you, so you can refund it.