NOTE TO PARENTS: Under no circumstances should anyone under eighteen play this game. If you are over eighteen, you'd better play this game.

"Rimworld" bares the title of my favorite video game. It is the greatest video game I have ever played in my twenty-six years of gaming. As indicated by my hours, I clearly do not have a problem and can obviously stop anytime I want!

In "Rimworld", players play colonists, sadly called "Pawns", and direct their lives. You feed them, clothe them, house them, and build them shelters. Develop an emotional attachment to them, as I do, and make them happy... or don't, and execute them for throwing a temper tantrum and smashing your stack of end-game essential Advanced Components, or form a firing squad and do it for fun.

Raiders, cruel and ruthless, will come and try to kill and hurt you (even your children if you have the Expansion Pack), and you can exact justice on them in countless ways... or forgive them and let them go. Some will actually stop hurting you if you do this, while others will never do anything but hate you.

The beauty of this game is that you have the unlimited potential to do good or evil (and this is why the game is not for kids). You will likely question your morals if you go far enough; the game neither rewards you for good nor punishes you for evil. Your conscience is the regulator.

The more you play, the more you might be willing to try certain things. For example (and this is also why the game is not for kids), you can butcher radiers like animals and dine on the flesh of men. Unless you elect to play as a cannibal, though, they will despise you for this. You can harvest organs, either for fun and profit, or to save the lives of the innocent when their organs are damaged from those raids. Make drugs and get your colonists hooked on Totally Not Cocaine, then be a kingpin that rolls in money, or make medicine and give it to beggars.

As an example of the breadth of moral choices, I have a rule to never, under any circumstances, harm a child. I have kept this rule for as long as children have been in the game. (Children are added with the "Biotech" Expansion Pack.) The only time I have ever done something to a child is by accident, when I failed to check the character's age before making my move. On the flip side, I regularly harvest and sell the blood of my prisoners who were captured in raids, and then dismantle them for their organs. I butcher them and then use their flesh to feed my livestock, or deceptively mix that stuff into other stuff to remove the ability of my colonists to recognize what's in it.

"Rimworld" negates gore and violence in favor of an adorable, cutesy art style. This dampens what would otherwise be too obscene for me to play, and increases emotional attachments to my characters. This is perhaps one of its crowning features: for those into sadism, it is much easier to torture a character who does not scream or show his entrails when you extract his liver (in a rare example of default morality, the game automatically anesthesizes anyone for any surgery). For those into kindness, it makes one even happier to make them happy.

"Rimworld" adds five Expansion Packs to the game. Note that I said "Expansion Pack", as it is ridiculously dishonest to call it Downloaded Content. In a manner reminiscent of better times, each EP adds a plethora of content that is immense and good for replaying over and over again. Even solely using the base game, you will find hundreds of hours of fun.

1. "Ideology" adds religion (or simply values) to the game, letting players choose to be cannibals, or dwarf-like cave dwellers, and everything in between, with the same potential for good and evil.

2. "Biotech" adds genetics and traits innate to characters, and most of all, allows for characters to produce children! This is one of my favorite parts, because I love raising children and watching them grow and play together.

3. "Royalty" adds an Empire Faction, which can bestow onto you multiple titles and psychic powers. Most people aren't a big fan of this game unless they download fan-made content that expands it, but I've always enjoyed it profusely.

4. "Anomaly" adds Horax, a Final Boss of the game. Horax is a malevolent, sapient computer who tried and failed to break the speed of light barrier, and instead got trapped in a prison called the "Void." He's stuck, and now he's trying to get out. You accidentally caused a crack from which Horax's influence reverberates. Oops! Now, in his attempts to break free, Horax is sending unholy abominations to hurt and raid you! You can, through reverse-engineering, study and learn to use or kill these abominations, either for good or evil. At the end, you have the choice of sealing Horax in his prison for all of eternity... or joining him and have one of your colonists become the "Rimworld" equivalent of THE Antichrist.

5. "Odyssey" adds a plethora of new Biomes, animals, and tasks, focusing on getting your colonists off their butts and out to the world. Build a shuttle spacecraft, called a Gravship, that enters into the lower exosphere and drops you off thousands of miles away. Land on rocky out croppings in the sky and mine for Vacstone to go father and farther away. Ultimately, players can elect to fight the Mechanoids that plague you in the original game directly. Experience an end-game Mechanoid menace and deactivate the Evil Mechanoid Hive Brain, silencing them for good. You can also meet the Insect Queen and her brood, discovering the secrets of the giant bugs of Sorne under the ground.



Then there are the Mods. Oh glob, the MODS.

For those unfamiliar with gaming lingo (or automobile slang, as this term predates the invention of the PC), "Mod" is a proper noun that is short for "modification". Individuals can, and are encouraged, to create their own content for the game. The potential is infinite, and I myself have made content for the game for years. If you can make a spreadsheet and use basic image editing software, you can write XML files and watch your dreams come to reality as your favorite food or beloved pet shows up in the game. If you are a programmer that knows the C-Sharp programming language, you can add entirely new ways of playing the game.

There is no limit to how many Mods you can have, and I abuse that, with over one thousand one hundred different Mods installed. I tell myself that when my computer starts spitting fire, ONLY THEN will I have installed enough Mods. I have upgraded my computer solely to play "Rimworld" on larger settings, with more colonists, and using more Mods. Twice. That's how much fun I've had with the Mod making scene.


To conclude, I wish that I could do more than simply recommend the game. I wish I could buy it for any adult that asks of it, just to share the joy I've experienced in it over the years. I have never been disappointed by the game. I have never run out of things to do; boredom only sets in when I have so many things that the game slows down and I have to watch my colonists crawl to do basic tasks. I have had so much fun playing this game, and God willing, I will have many more years of fun going forward.


To anyone over eighteen, I tell you, get this game! You will not be disappointed!