[C]radled by waves, a castle awaits,
Standing proud where sea and sky embrace.
Its towers gleam like laughter caught in stone,
Each window whispers, “You are not alone.”
The air smells of salt, sugar, and sun,
Where every shadow hides a pun.
Here, joy has hands — it paints and plays,
And mends small hearts in tender ways.
The ocean hums, “Come dance and see,
This castle’s love was built for thee.”

[A]long its arches, adventure calls,
Through painted dreams and golden halls.
A slide of stars! A jump of glee!
The world itself shouts, “Follow me!”
Where giggles grow like seaside blooms,
And worries melt in rainbow rooms.
Every mural sings in colour and rhyme,
A storybook stitched by hands sublime.
The devs who shaped this shining art,
Did so with laughter — and with heart.

[S]tepping inside, George takes your hand,
The world’s kindest giraffe in this fantastical land.
He blinks with joy, his scarf askew,
His heart enormous, his spirit true.
He trips, he twirls, he makes you grin,
He reminds you what it means to win —
Not in score or fame or feat,
But in kindness shared and hearts that meet.
He’s silly, tall, and slightly clumsy,
A hero plush, sincere, and full of whimsy.

[T]hrough leaps and bounds he pirouettes,
Defying logic, gravity forgets!
He cartwheels joy through every trial,
He backflips hope in circus style.
His laughter echoes through the night,
A glowing thread of golden light.
Each jump a giggle, each spin a song,
He reminds you — it’s okay to belong.
For in this castle, you’re safe to fall,
George will catch you, neck and all! 🦒💛

[L]evels bloom like gardens alive,
Where every pixel seems to thrive.
From mushroom meadows to gadget gears,
It’s playground magic through the years.
You’ll chase bright stars, you’ll climb with grace,
You’ll find a smile in every place.
Because behind each crafted part,
Lives Big Heart Productions — emphasis on Heart.
Their love is sewn in every seam,
Their kindness shines through every dream.

[E]very puzzle hums with song,
Never harsh, never wrong.
Each “boss” you meet is soft, sincere —
More friend than foe, they draw you near.
They test your wits, not for a fight,
But to share their joy and light.
Even challenge here feels kind —
A mirror for a joyful mind.
You don’t lose here — you learn, you play,
And dance your worries all away.

[O]ver the waves, beneath the skies,
George’s laughter never dies.
He twirls through clouds with dazzling ease,
A gentle giraffe who rides the breeze.
His scarf flaps wild, his eyes gleam bright,
He glows like a lamp in the soft starlight.
His heart beats warm, his message true —
“This world was made with love for you.”
And somehow, you believe it too.

[N]ever cruel, never cold,
This castle’s story must be told.
Built not for profit, but to heal,
A digital hug you can feel.
Every jump a heartbeat shared,
Every pixel gently cared.
A harbour safe, where dreams can rest,
A place where giving feels the best.
And who made this miracle gleam?
A small, big-hearted indie dream.

[T]his tale’s no ordinary play,
It gives more love than words can say.
Each coin you spend, each laugh you lend,
Helps children heal, helps futures mend.
For Valley’s halls and hospital rooms
Now sparkle bright with George’s tunes.
The devs said, “Let’s make joy real,”
And coded kindness into steel.
No dragons slain — just fears erased,
And hope renewed, in bright embrace.

[H]ope shines here in radiant streams,
In hospital halls and pixel dreams.
Each smile a spark, each gift a flame,
That warms the heart that made this game.
For every child who learns to play,
George lights the dark and shows the way.
And through their laughter, through their cheer,
The devs’ compassion rings so clear:
That games can heal, that joy can mend,
That love itself can be a Godsend.

[E]very leap, each dive, each glide,
Carries heartbeats, side by side.
A mission wrapped in velvet light,
A digital daydream born of right.
The code itself seems soft and kind,
A gentle poem left behind.
“Play,” it whispers, “laugh and see,
The best in you, the best in me.”
A promise shared from screen to soul,
To make small hearts feel whole.

[C]rafted with passion, soft and true,
Big Heart built this just for you.
No cynic’s edge, no cold design —
Just radiant care in every line.
A studio named for what they give,
They live the love they let us live.
They made a game, and made it heal,
They turned compassion into real.
A castle not of stone or sand,
But kindness — pixel by loving hand.

[O]ver and over, the message gleams,
In laughter’s chords and pixel dreams.
That play can heal, that joy can grow,
That giving love makes spirits glow.
A dev once said, “This one’s for them —
The kids, the nurses, the brave in stem.”
And in that vow, they found their art,
To build with code and beating heart.
It’s not a product — it’s a prayer,
A gift to show that love is there.

[A]nd when the credits softly roll,
You’ll feel a warmth fill up your soul.
It’s not goodbye — it’s “carry this light.”
A gentle flame against the night.
George waves his hoof, his eyes aglow,
“Be kind,” he says, “and let it show.”
And somewhere, in a hospital bed,
A child dreams bright because you played.
That’s the power, pure and sweet —
Of a castle where hearts and pixels meet.

[S]o step inside, dear friend of cheer,
The castle’s doors are always near.
Let George guide you through every hall,
He’s got the biggest neck of all! 🦒
Laugh too loud, fall off the ledge,
Bounce right back — that’s your pledge.
For this is joy in living code,
A heartfelt gift, a shared abode.
It’s love in motion, majestic art,
Big Heart’s name — and Big Heart’s heart. 💛

[T]his is no tale of greed or fame,
But of kindness, pixel by name.
A gift for children, for all to see,
A shining dream of empathy.
So raise your controller, lift your smile,
Stay in the castle for a while.
For this, dear friend, is joy reborn —
Where healing hearts and games are sworn.
And at its helm, both brave and kind,
A giraffe, a team, a love combined.

✨ Castle on the Coast isn’t just a game — it’s a thank-you letter to hope, written in code, painted in laughter, and carried on the neck of a giraffe with the biggest heart in the world. 🦒💛

🎬
(Cue classic Ryan George jingle. The EXECUTIVE sits in an early-2003s office with a giant CRT monitor. The WRITER bursts in wearing cargo pants, a green jacket, and pure optimism.)

EXECUTIVE (2003): So, you’ve got a video game for me?

WRITER: Yes sir, I do! It’s called Beyond Good & Evil!

EXECUTIVE: Sounds deep. Is it about philosophy?

WRITER: Kind of! It’s an action-adventure about journalism, government corruption, intergalactic conspiracies, photography, and pigs in Hawaiian shirts.

EXECUTIVE: …That’s a lot of genres, my guy.

WRITER: Oh yeah, it’s basically Zelda, Metal Gear, Pokémon Snap, and National Geographic rolled into one.

EXECUTIVE: Wow wow wow wow wow.

(A flash of blue lightning. A FUTURE WRITER from 2025 bursts through a wormhole, covered in nostalgia and steam sale stickers.)

FUTURE WRITER: Don’t listen to the Metacritic, this game’s a masterpiece!

EXECUTIVE: Wait, what year are you from?!

FUTURE WRITER: 2025! I came back to stop you from under-marketing it! You released it the same week as Prince of Persia: Sands of Time!

EXECUTIVE (2003): What’s wrong with that?

FUTURE WRITER: EVERYTHING. People missed it, and we’ve been emotionally repairing ourselves ever since!

(The lights flicker. A talisman glows. The Jackie Chan Adventures cast appears in a puff of chi magic.)

UNCLE: ONE MORE THING! You must not underestimate power of pig companion!

EXECUTIVE: Why is there an elderly man chanting in my office?

WRITER: That’s Uncle! He’s here to handle the game’s lore inconsistencies!

UNCLE: DARK FORCES OF DOMZ! WE MUST SEAL THEM WITH TALISMAN OF LIGHT!

JACKIE CHAN: Uncle, this isn’t a demon, it’s a Ubisoft release!

UNCLE: SAME THING!!

(Jade Chan appears next to Jade (BG&E) — two Jades side by side. The world trembles under double protagonist energy.)

JADE (BG&E): I’m Jade, investigative photojournalist fighting for truth!

JADE CHAN: I’m Jade, snarky magic-hunting teen!

BOTH: (Unison) We’re overqualified and underappreciated!

(They fist bump. Universe expands slightly.)

EXECUTIVE: So tell me about the game world.

WRITER: The planet Hillys! It’s a beautiful, oceanic sci-fi world full of alien architecture, floating markets, and music so good it transcends dimensions.

FUTURE WRITER: The soundtrack still slaps twenty years later!

(Cue ethereal acoustic guitar riff from Christophe Héral. Time freezes. Everyone nods in reverence.)

UNCLE (teary): Beautiful! Music so pure, no patch required!

📷 The Jades' Mission and Hak Foo's Symbolic Assault

EXECUTIVE: And who’s the pig guy?

WRITER: That’s Pey’j, Jade’s uncle figure. Mechanic, engineer, grumpy angel.

JACKIE: So, like my Uncle, but with more bacon jokes?

UNCLE: UNACCEPTABLE!

(Hak Foo enters dramatically through the main doorway, having used a portal instead of breaking the wall. He performs a perfect, non-contact spin kick that merely shifts the air around a ficus plant.)

HAK FOO: PHRASE ATTACK! “SNEAK FAILURE WITH STEALTH OF A THUNDERING RHINO!”

FUTURE WRITER: Yeah, the stealth section in the factory was kinda rough.

EXECUTIVE (2003): So what do players actually do?

WRITER: You sneak through alien facilities, take pictures of wildlife, expose conspiracies, and occasionally yeet guards into electric fences with a stick.

JADE CHAN: Ugh, sneaking is the worst. Why not just start a fight?

JADE (BG&E): Because we're journalists, not soldiers! We gather evidence. And besides, you can't sneak with a giant pig and huge, loud soldier following you, can you?

JADE CHAN: True. My crew usually consists of an acrobatic uncle, a magical grandpa, and shenanigans. Stealth is rarely an option.

JADE (BG&E): See? We’re all about strategic avoidance! Getting that perfect shot of the Alpha Section without them seeing you is the real win.

(Hak Foo dramatically points a perfectly manicured finger directly at the Executive's nose, stopping just short of contact.)

HAK FOO: PHRASE ATTACK! “EXPOSE TRUTH WITH BLOW OF PHOTOGRAPHIC REALISM!”

EXECUTIVE: Did he just... threaten me with an accurate photo?

WRITER: He's emphasizing the core mechanic, sir! The photo is your weapon!

JADE CHAN: If my camera had magic Chi, I’d be unstoppable.

JADE (BG&E): Mine has something better: financial incentives. Every picture of a rare Hillyian creature is cold, hard currency!

(Jade (BG&E) quickly snaps a picture of a wide-eyed Hak Foo.)

JADE (BG&E): $100 bonus. And I just documented a rare instance of dramatic finger-pointing!

JADE CHAN: Ooh, you get paid for that? Okay, your game is officially cooler.

UNCLE: ONE MORE THING! Camera strong, but plot of betrayal stronger!

⏳ The Sequel Saga

EXECUTIVE: So what’s the plot?

WRITER: The DomZ aliens are secretly kidnapping citizens, the government’s in on it, and the media’s been silenced.

EXECUTIVE: That sounds… kinda relevant?

FUTURE WRITER: Yeah, it’s aged like prophecy.

JADE (BG&E): I told everyone the truth matters!

JADE CHAN: And I told everyone demons suck!

UNCLE: BOTH TRUE!

EXECUTIVE: So, does it get a sequel?

(Awkward silence. Everyone stares at FUTURE WRITER.)

FUTURE WRITER: …We’ve been waiting for over twenty years.

EXECUTIVE: Twenty plus years?!

UNCLE: ONE MORE THING! Perhaps game trapped by curse of Development Hell! Must perform exorcism with patch notes!

HAK FOO: DESTROYS HOPE WITH PATIENCE PUNCH!

JADE (BG&E): I believe in them. Someday, they’ll finish it.

JADE CHAN: Wow, you’re an optimist.

JADE (BG&E): I’ve seen the stars. I can wait.

(Everyone gets quiet. Even Hak Foo looks emotional.)

EXECUTIVE: So, you’re saying this little underdog game will inspire people for decades?

WRITER: Exactly. It’ll teach players to see truth through art, courage through compassion, and that sometimes the real treasure is good photo composition.

FUTURE WRITER: And the fanbase will keep it alive — through re-releases, remasters, memes, and Steam sales at $2.49.

UNCLE: Cheap price for priceless heart!

JACKIE: Uncle’s right.

(Uncle beams proudly, then immediately scolds him.)

UNCLE: Of course Uncle right! ALWAYS RIGHT!

(Music swells. All characters stand heroically. Uncle chants to seal the nostalgia portal. Everyone gets sucked into a green vortex shaped like Jade’s camera lens.)

TITLE CARD:

BEYOND GOOD & EVIL (2003)
A game so pure it made time itself stop for a photo.