you must bounce on it, crrrrazy style

Headass

hi foxy :))))))))))))))

are you the real ninja blevvins

followed me around at Big Lots asking for change. when I went to the parking lot he chased me down and asked me if I would go to prom with his daughter. I was a bit puzzled to say the least, and I initially turned him down. That is until he informed me that there would be something "radical" in it for me, after which point I felt obligated to acquiesce to his request. he gave me a yellowish scrap of paper with his daughter's telephone number on it, and told me to call her on the third Sunday of Advent. He pulled his trucker cap over his eyes and proceeded to walk away from me with both arms outstretched, like a zombie (a zombie is an undead creature, formerly a living person, brought back to life by sinister sorcery; think AMC's "The Walking Dead").

A few weeks pass, and the day that I have been asked to contact this man's daughter has come. As I'm dialing the number my heart is racing, and an intense fear takes ahold of me. I take a deep breath and shake the feeling. A woman answers the phone.
"Hello?" I ask. "MEET ME AT BIG LOTS" yells my soon-to-be lover. I hang up, get dressed, and start my 2011 Honda Accord with V8 engine and spoiler. I pull into Big Lots and am greeted by the last thing I could imagine; I am overwhelmed by a sense of dread not unlike the feeling one would receive upon first glimpse of a Lovecraftian abomination. This was no lady; this was an Iguana in a prom dress! then she told me to add her dad on steam and we played some counter strike he's kind of bad but he seems like a cool enough guy though even if he wanted me to have sex with his Iguana daughter it's chill though I mean I don't judge if that's what you're into but I'm not I like to h