Defectus Polaris 最近的评测

Expected simple shooting game. Instead got a PhD in advanced door destruction techniques while learning that every entrance is just a suggestion waiting to be violently disagreed with. My friend team moves like a synchronized swimming squad armed with explosives and unlimited confidence.

Expected relaxing underwater adventure. Instead got the most terrifying swimming lessons of my life where giant fish with trust issues chase me while I hyperventilate into my oxygen tank. Somehow became an expert marine biologist while screaming at ancient sea monsters.

Built an entire underwater mansion just to avoid going outside where the scary fish live. My actual bathtub now feels like a safe space compared to this alien ocean nightmare paradise.

Warning: May cause irrational fear of deep water and suspicious expertise in emergency submarine construction.

"Finally, a game that made me appreciate living on dry land" - My formerly beach-loving friend

Expected boring space cleanup sim. Instead got the most zen underwater waste management experience in gaming history.
Turns out cleaning alien ocean pollution while befriending adorable sea creatures is surprisingly therapeutic.
My virtual jellyfish friends now judge my real-life recycling habits.

Instead got cats wielding swords bigger than their entire bodies while somehow maintaining perfect balance and adorable ear twitches. My feline warrior conquered bosses by simply being too cute for them to attack seriously.

The dogs are surprisingly competent allies despite clearly being cats in disguise. Every spell casting involves dramatic paw gestures that my real cat now attempts during dinner time.

The zombies are surprisingly polite - they wait for you to find your flashlight before chasing.

And when you do, all of it turns into a fun time and zombie killer. A must have for every casual multitasking brainrot enthuasiast.

Expected simple cooking game. Instead got a masterclass in how friendship dies when someone burns the soup while you're frantically chopping onions at light speed.
My virtual restaurant runs like a beautiful disaster where every meal somehow gets served despite absolute pandemonium.

Expected boring cats just sitting around. Instead got 100 cats who've achieved enlightenment through professional-grade waiting. Cat #88 has been patiently staring at a closed tuna can for 47 straight hours and somehow looks more dignified each second.

"Finally, cats have conquered their final frontier" - My astrophysicist cousin

Warning: May cause overwhelming desire to wear tiny party hats year-round.

Started this thinking it was about cats with proper discipline. "Finally!" - I said to myself. Unfortunately, It was about spring weather. Although quite a recommendation on my end neverthelesss.