3iq man

Chaps acts like he's the king of gaming... ask him if he's ever climbed the peak ... the blind leading the blind

upon reflection the honorable gentlemen chaps loves to crotch watch. its said there are many forms of rehab for the man in question however knowing the 'chaps' its likely he will ignore any attempts of reform and carry on crotch watching. (especially in 'The Bottle Of Sauce' and in some occasions even 'Frog And Fiddle).

For example, Henry Westons Vintage Cider (and adjacent drinks) will double the rate of unsolicited crotch examination - since the rate of gaze is directly correlated to alcohol percentage, and Henry Westons Vintage Cider is twice as strong as Thatchers Gold.

As an avid "IRL Chaps Knower", I can confirm that, after 3 pints, he cannot help but stare at the crotch of myself, or anyone nearby he fancies. However, the calibre of the pint used can significantly change the rates of Chaps' prying eyes. The standard drink of choice being, of course, the legendary Thatchers Gold, which will cause Chaps' gaze to be directed towards the groin after just 3 pints, although, he often telegraphs who's crotch he will stare at halfway through the 2nd pint. This premonition happens halfway through the first pint if a fruity cider is used, such as Kopparberg or Rekorderlig. Thatchers Haze is unsuitable for the process, as even Chaps has standards and will not drink complete piss, spitting it out before it can get anywhere near his liver. Furthermore, stronger ciders, such as Henry Westons Vintage Cider, will increase the strength of this catalyst thereby increasing the speed of the reaction.

i know a few of u guys dont know chaps in real life but trust me when i tell you hes relentlessly obsessed with ♥♥♥♥, he loves staring at my crotch after 3 pints... help me:(