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报告翻译问题

3vs3 Game edition: TOTAL CHAOS
featuring:
The ♥♥♥♥♥: Iri "Rusher" Tiley, Menci "Quickshot" ♥♥♥♥, and Atek "Stoney" McAdmin
The ♥♥♥♥♥: HD "The Tired Frenchman" Maximum, Jokke "Laggy" McPing, and Alex "AllX" Alexanderson.
The ♥♥♥♥♥ used their superior cheats to defenestrate "The ♥♥♥♥♥" dream of being the very best, like no one ever was.
When asked about why they lost, "The ♥♥♥♥♥" answered as following:
"We believe it to be because of lag, cheats and reg." - AllX
"Might also be because of doping, also portally!" - The Tired Frenchman
"My lag ofcourse, otherwise I would've beaten them single-handedly" - Laggy
The interview with "The Tired Frenchman" can be seen here, unfortunatly subtitles arent available. http://www.wimp.com/cutestthing/
The ♥♥♥♥♥ had the following to say about their victory:
"It's the weed man, daa weed!!" - Stoney
"Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia" - Rusher
"I like boobs" - Quickshot
In conclusion, there was total confusion.