Fat Knuckles | Semi-Perfect Semi-Professional Record

DEARLY BELOVED

The Fat Man has spoken.

Gabriel Johnson Howard Newel birthed (like a seahorse) a wonderful 17.9gb genderless blob/smoke grenade change called CS2.

We're gathered here to celebrate; the world has become brighter today.

We can now no longer get one-way'd on Mirage by a 13 year old who spent the last 16 hours on his iPod Touch in the corner of his living room rocking back-and-forth sucking on his fist watching s1mple streams.

We can no longer be ninja defused without being genuinely mentally-handicapped, which, for legal reasons, we would love and support equally as all accounts were made the same and we have no issues with those who are spectrumulated.

We're gathered here today to celebrate.

So celebrate by gripping the 3 o'clock and 9 o'clock positions on your belt loop, and hoisting yourself up to the sky.

In God's name, Amen.