Hello and welcome to the first and only true New Orthodox Church Of Gaben.

Hello brother/sister Steam user,
We are Pope Sporse, Preist Jombimation, Bishop Davondo_of_Gaben, & Bishop Jimmymoak. We will guide you on your journey of converting religions and worshipping the lord Gaben.

Rules for converting religions.
~FiRST: You must say to who/whatever you were previously praising, "You are a scrub who can't 360 no scope scrubs or drink Mountain Dew while 420 blazing it."
~SECOND: You must reject all connections to other religions.
~THIRD: Accept Gaben as your lord and savior by buying games on sale and using keys.
~FORTH: Chant "STEAM, STEAM, SUMMER SALES ARE CLEAN, KEYS, KEYS, I WANT HALF-LIFE 3!"
Now you're a Gabenist!

Since your a Gabenist now we ask that you follow some of our few, simple rules.
~FIRST: We ask that you show your support for the religion by buying at least one game that is on sale every three months.
~SECOND: We ask that you perform the Gaben chant ["STEAM, STEAM, SUMMER SALES ARE CLEAN, KEYS, KEYS, I WANT HALF-LIFE 3!"] at least once a month.


That's all you need to know to be a New Orthodox Gabenist. Goodluck!

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