Im a maya user so not sure how much help I can be but with I assume you put a blinn material on the model? If so then good, it would have something to do with the spec properties I'd say.

On maya I turn down the settings of Eccentricity and Reflectivity that should help/stop the gloss. As for smoothing, I used the smooth tool it appears you have attempted that, only thing I could suggest is maybe put in supporting edge loops and make sure you are not viewing it in smoothed mode while exporting (not sure if you can do that in 3Ds max).

Sorry I cant be much help, hopefully you can get it sorted out I'm only new to this and having a problem of my own doing a hat now xD.

Well I just found this on another post while looking for an answer for myself.

"Hey guys, a friend tipped me off. Turn the Alpha Channel in your normal maps closer to black in the areas you want to be less glossy. So set it to a neutral grey to avoid getting too much gloss."