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Thanks for your hard work.
1 - bring up console, click on spouse -> removefac 51596 -> player.removefac c6472
2 - resetquest 74793 -> resetquest 21382 -> setstage 74793 10
3 - equip an amulet of mara or buy one from Maramel in Riften. talk to npc then to maramel again. wait 24h.
For spouse customization lookup (nexus & steam) : change spouse outfits by PrinceShroob, spouses custom home by Emma Amgepo, my home is your home by Volek, follower wander by King Coin.
DB & DG compatible too - you should put that in the description.
Oh, and make a mod that has a giant child!
As to the lore aspect of wood elves not marrying, then don't marry. You can just have these be followers.