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I could provide more in-depth feedback on writing if you'd like. I'm minoring in English and writing is a major interest of mine, so I enjoy helping other people hone their skills just as I hone mine.
My only major grievance is the lack of an ending. Was the campaign stopping right as Pardo confronts Jacket part of your original vision? It felt like there should have been a couple ending scenes exploring the results of the end descision. Maybe following Jacket's arrest you could show Pardo ruminating over whether he did the right thing. I noticed Real Human Being 2 also ends on kind of a lame note, so I feel like this is a part of the writing process you have trouble with.
A pleasure to play. Thanks!
Rule number 2: always check every corner
Rule number 3: fast as a speedster
But I must say, as many others have pointed out, that the level design is lacking on a lot of levels:
- Over-reliance on specialist enemies (especially guns).
- Huge open spaces with enemies that you can't see.
- Too many enemies in some areas.
- Spawning you in a way that unless you react IMMEDIATELY you will die.