That’s it. You’re done. Congratulations. You’ve already experienced the peak of enjoyment this “experience” has to offer.

Every second you hesitate, the spice drains from your soul. Don’t worry, the desert will not miss you.

Play a different game. Read a cereal box. Watch paint dry. Stare at a wall. All of these contain more thrilling content and deeper mechanics than this overpriced mirage.

If you honestly believe you’re having fun here, then I regret to inform you…that’s not fun. That’s Stockholm syndrome wearing a sand-colored coat.

Smile. You’ve broken free. You’ll never get those hours back, but at least you stopped digging.

Yes, refund. Claw back your dignity. Rip your wallet out of this spice addiction before the Fremen taxes it into oblivion. Steam’s refund button is the only mechanic in this game that actually works as intended.
Pro tip: The hitbox on the refund button is flawless...10/10 design.

It took me several dozen hours...each one drier and more joyless than the last...before I embraced the truth.

Since uninstalling, I am freer. I laugh more. I fear sand less. I am once again a functioning human.
And you can be too. Click uninstall. Click refund (if blessed by the two-hour mercy rule). This is the way.

Only if you followed the steps/journey above, the following super secret hidden achievements will unlock:


🔥 Escaped the Desert

Congratulations! You’ve successfully left the sand behind and reclaimed your life.

🔥 Two-Hour Mercy

Used Steam’s refund feature before regret became permanent.

🔥 Wall-Staring Pro

Discovered that staring at a wall is more engaging than building another sand shack.

🔥 Sock Organizer

Reorganized your socks instead of fighting sandworms. Truly peak efficiency.

🔥 Freedom Fighter

Finally understood that true victory is leaving this game forever.

This guide is purely satirical.
It is not mocking, doxxing, or harassing the developers in any way...it’s just a brutally honest, sarcastic joke for people who already tossed the game into the desert and want a laugh.

Think of it as a survival guide…for your sanity.