Taking a shower is something that is useful and common in societal norms as it ensures one is not of bad odor nor of bad hygiene. For most people, this guide will be of minimal use if any, however this guide is not for those people. This guide is for the people who have hands that appear to have scales of dirt and dead skin and consistently leave pools of sweat in their GTRacing chairs after hours of grinding, often referred to as "dwellers".

If you are still here, you either find this guide interesting or you need its helping hand to guide you.

Step I: Turn off the game.
I understand this one may be a hard first step for most dwellers, but it's necessary to ensure your hours upon hours of hard work don't go to waste. If you've read my guide on touching grass, this part will be a breeze. This may be a shock to hear, but sometimes games don't save properly or don't autosave at all. Be sure to save your progress before completing Step I. Enter the menu your game has integrated, and search for the "quit game" button. It may look like a box with an arrow. Click that button to close the game. Optionally, shut your computer down by looking for the power button and clicking it.

Step II: Get up.
I can probably guess that this step should be fairly intuitive, even for a dweller, however some of you may not know. No worries, I'm here for you! Put down the half empty waifu cup of GFuel or Gamersupps you've been drinking for the past 7 hours, and follow along. Firmly plant both of your feet onto the ground beneath you, in such a way that the bottoms (or souls) of your feet are fully in contact with the floor. Once this is achieved, you may need to support yourself by putting your hands onto your chair's armrests without allowing your arms to touch the chair. If your chair has no armrests, you can use your legs thighs as a good stabilizer. When your arms are in position, push down with your arms to lift yourself off the chair and use your legs to stand upright on the floor.

Step III: To the bathroom.
Now that you've turned off your game and have stood up, we need to start to head towards the bathroom. Not all bathrooms are built the same, so in the event the nearest bathroom to you has no shower or bath, ignore it and head to another. If you are currently in a basement, which I assume you are, you'll need to walk up the stairs. If not, then you'll need to walk towards the selected bathroom which contains a bath or shower by alternating what foot you put in front of yourself while also moving in a forward motion by placing your weight onto the foot in front of you in the same way your bunny Feng walks when you aren't holding shift or control. This is called walking and is a similar movement described before to the people who have stairs. If you are moving at an accelerated speed similar to when holding the shift key, you are moving too quickly and must slow down.

Step IV: Enter the bathroom.
By now you should have reached the bathroom door. You've done well dweller, and we're almost done. If no one else is in the bathroom, you are free to walk inside, however if someone is inside, either wait until they are finished or choose a new bathroom and repeat Step III. If that's too difficult for you, you may be beyond my help, but for this guide we'll assume you aren't too far gone into your transformation into Smeagol. For those who live alone, that has no pertinence for you and you may enter as you please. When you have successfully entered the correct type of bathroom, you will encounter a toilet, sink, and either a large tub or showering area. You will know it is a shower if it has an object near the ceiling of the area which has small dots that aim toward the floor.

If your bathroom has a bath tub but has no such apparatus, it means that your bathroom is bath only and no shower can be taken. This can work for you, dweller, however you may require different instructions from here. Further instructions will be given later, so feel free to skip from here to the alternate instructions.

Step V: Get in the shower and use it.
Now is the time to prepare yourself for the shower, as you do not want your clothes to be showered with you. For very obvious reasons, I will not go into any further detail on that. However, in your preparation, ensure that your shower has at minimum shampoo and body soap present and ready to use. Other products may be used, but you shouldn't feel like it's necessary for this guide. Be sure that a towel that can wrap around you and not touch the floor is present and within reach of the shower. Now that that's all done, there will be a knob or handle lower on the wall that is for you to set precisely what temperature you desire: hot, cold, or otherwise. You may have two knobs, and that's ok too. One just refers to heat and the other to cold. You'll need to turn the knob(s) to the desired temperature and then wait for it to reach that temperature. Now get in the shower and use your products as needed.

Step V Alternate
Most of the information above is applicable, even without a shower. Simply turn the knob(s) to the desired temperature until the bathtub has become roughly 2/3 to 3/4 full. after that, the process is relatively the same but sitting in a tub full of water rather than standing in a tiny car wash.

Step VI: Finishing and getting out.
After you finish using the products you have, you should be done with your shower. Water bills are expensive nowadays, dweller. No sense wasting too much. Now is the time you should exit the shower, so turn the knob(s) in the opposite direction you did earlier and the water should stop. Even though the water is off, you're still drenched. You can air dry in what is in all likelihood freezing air, or you could grab the towel we prepared earlier and dry yourself off while the air in the shower itself is still warm from the water. Once you're dry, you should be good to get out and leave. You won't be completely dry, but dry enough to not leave a trail of water where you walk is perfectly fine. Now you're done! You're free to go about your day or night how you originally intended.

I've been asked to make an addendum to this guide, as the ending isn't clear enough. Please pay close attention, dweller. When you finish with your shower, use the towel to dry yourself off. You will not be completely dry and that's fine. Wrap yourself in the towel and then push the shower curtain to one side of the bath in the same way you did to get into the shower, and then step out of the shower. At this point, you need to go to whatever room in your residency has your clothes and put something on. After this, you can go back down into your basement to continue your DbD grind if you like, or you can do whatever you need otherwise.



If you made it to this point, I assume that you already understand this isn't serious and that it's not to be taken as such. I hope you enjoyed the guide on how to take a shower, and I hope you have a good day or night.