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Tactical Stapler
描述 讨论2 留言46 改动说明
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Build 41, Clothing/Armor, Items, Multiplayer, Pop Culture, Silly/Fun, Weapons
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314.241 KB
2022 年 7 月 6 日 下午 12:13
2022 年 7 月 7 日 上午 9:28
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Orc
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Tactical Stapler

描述
In the office, a stapler is used to bind papers – but that method doesn’t work on the undead and that’s why we use the Swingline 646 Tactical Stapler! It’s a stapler no zombie-hunting office worker should be without!

The Tactical Stapler can firmly attach "Have you seen my wife?" notes to the still-standing telephone poles.

It works as an emergency exfiltration device in those "Oh ♥♥♥♥ I’m about to Die?" moments when you absolutely, positively need to get through a window now.

The Swingline 646 Tactical Stapler even folds into a compact, non-tactical configuration for easy storage and cleaning.

And it still will not kill the undead!

How much would you pay for a beautiful Cherry Red Swingline 646 Tactical Stapler like this?

Before you answer listen: it even comes with a matching shirt to show your love for the Swingline 646 Tactical Staplers!

But wait! There’s much, much more!

We also want you to have this matching Red Swingline Trucker’s Hat!

It covers your head and keeps the sun out of your eyes while letting the undead know you are wielding the single most useless weapon against them! This amazing Red Swingline Trucker’s Hat can even hide your bleeding head wounds and never falls off!

How much would you pay for all these items?

Order now and we will even give you this authentic, camouflage Swingline Tactical Stapler Hat for free! Now the zombies won’t know that you can’t kill them with your beautiful Red Swingline Tactical Stapler!

Now how much will you pay?

You get the Red Swingline 646 Tactical Stapler, The matching Red Swingline Shirt, The Red Swingline Trucker’s Hat, and the Tacti-cool Swingline Camouflage Hat. You get them all, guaranteed by the manufacturer for as long as they hold out against the undead hordes for only 4 easy payments of $20.69.

Don’t miss out on the most incredible stapler offer ever! It will most definitely be the last!

Tactical Stapler is Open-Source and published on Github[github.com].
Repackage, redistribute, recode, whatever, I don't care, do as you please.
Credit would be appreciated.

[ko-fi.com]

Workshop ID: 2831453493
Mod ID: TacticalStapler
热门讨论 查看全部（2）
0
2022 年 7 月 6 日 下午 12:17
置顶： Frequently Asked Questions
Orc
0
2022 年 7 月 6 日 下午 12:16
置顶： Translations
Orc
46 条留言
< >
LilBoiBill115 6 月 25 日 上午 2:30 
someone should do a voice over for this ad
flufficreepers 2024 年 10 月 12 日 下午 2:42 
Now I know everyone claims this thing is useless but I got 24 kills with a stapler after kiting zombies around for an hour and nearly breaking my legs after getting cornered. It's actually semi-viable with 10A/10R gun skills because the hitstun to zombies pushes them back into the horde - so long as you have enough Nimble to backstrafe forever, the Tactical Stapler is actually a competent tool if your name is Sisyphus and you would like a handicap.

Until it starts to jam, anyways. I ended up having to grab another one whilst kiting around the office.

If you do ever revisit this, I'd really appreciate if you could unbox staples whilst walking, and maybe add a Swingline 333 as an easter egg item. My parents gave me one and it looks awesome :)
G.I.Bill 2024 年 7 月 9 日 上午 11:23 
LOL Kudos for the reference to the old 1970's Ginsu Knife commercial's line "In Japan the hand can be used like a knife! But this method does not work on a tomato." and all of the other tropes of that style of commercials and later infomercials. :steamthumbsup:
Canada 2024 年 4 月 8 日 下午 4:12 
what does this even do
Captain Tofu 2023 年 10 月 18 日 上午 12:51 
That's so stupid, I love it
jysk 2023 年 7 月 14 日 上午 3:00 
I really like the other additions than the stapler, The T-shirt, VHS Tape, Cap, Abilitiy to order one with money
Demo-Cide! 2023 年 6 月 10 日 下午 2:16 
can i craft staples out of wire?
Yada! 2023 年 6 月 4 日 上午 12:53 
Attachments when? I want to put a 12x on a stapler. :GhostFlowerHappy:
Jasdan 2023 年 6 月 3 日 上午 11:19 
It makes sense that we could Staple papers to the zomboids face to make them bllind, right?
JustinDaniels 2023 年 1 月 30 日 上午 12:07 
INTRODUCING THE BLUE SWINGLINE 647 TACTICAL STAPLER! TWICE THE RANGE, TEN THE EFFICIENCY, AND TWICE THE BENEFITS! AMPLIFYING OUR PREDECESSOR'S 0% EFFICIENCY UP TO 00%, YOU CAN GUARANTEE THAT NOBODY WILL TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY!

STUCK IN A PVP MATCHUP? OUR EXPERTS ON THE FIELD HAVE GUARANTEED THAT, AFTER RAIDERS SHOOT DOWN THE ONES WHO HOLD THE BLUE SWINGLINE 647 TACTICAL STAPLER, THEY LOOT IT FIRST OUT OF EVERYTHING ELSE THEIR HAPLESS VICTIM WAS CARRYING!

CAN OF BEANS?! MORE LIKE, CAN OF STAPLES! BECAUSE THAT'S ALL THAT WILL BE RUNNING THROUGH THEIR MINDS!

THAT, AND THE HORDE OF UNDEAD THEY ATTRACTED WITH THEIR GUN!

WHAT'S THIS? THEIR GUN JAMMED?! TIME FOR THEM TO TAKE THEIR BLUE SWINGLINE 647 TACTICAL STAPLER, AND PUT IT TO THE TEST!

WATCH AS THEY FLAIL THEIR HANDS AFTER THE ZOMBIES AT 10X THE REGULAR SWING SPEED, ONLY TO MISS 100% OF THE TIME!

THE BLUE SWINGLINE 647 TACTICAL STAPLER! COMING NEVER IN A STORE NEAR YOU... mostly because there are zombies at our door right now.