Inspired by Turtlegatsby the Jorticles and co.'s fitness guide for Deep Rock Galactic:
https://psteamcommunity.yuanyoumao.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2733827408

Welcome! Before I hand things off to the legend himself, there's a few things that need to be said.

We are all at different points in our fitness journey, so you may find some of the workouts to be too intense or not intense enough to get anything out of. If this is the case, don't be afraid to tweak the number of reps up or down, or to do a more or less intense version of the exercise (i.e. knee-pushups, half-squats, adding dumbbells to air punches, etc.). No one is judging you, I promise.


And secondly, (and I cannot stress this enough):
As someone who has injured themselves like this before,
The little bit of pride you get for pushing yourself so far past your limit is not worth risking a potentially chronic injury, trust me.


Finally, the way this routine will work is "For every time X happens, do workout Y at the end of the campaign." A lot of these "X's" will be tracked by the end-game credits, so be sure not to skip them. However, some "X's" will not be tracked by the credits, and will have to be tracked manually. There will be a template at the bottom of the table of contents for you to copy and paste into a text editor. I personally use rapidtables [www.rapidtables.com] or some other online text editor so that I can access it by simply pressing Shift+Tab, but use whatever you like.

NOTE: This guide is written with Expert difficulty in mind. You by no means have to play Expert mode to participate in this activity, but the gameplay loop of other difficulties may result in anomalies such as unreasonable amounts of plank.


But with that out of the way, I'll be taking my leave so that Coach can take over. Good Luck!

Oops, I lied. Coach didn't include a warm up routine in any of his content, so here's my own.

Before you begin your exercise session, be sure to warm up those muscles to greatly reduce the risk of injury. Here is a chart of a full-body warm-up routine that takes only a couple minutes.


From left to right, top to bottom:

1 - Slow Forward and Back Neck Tilts:
Slowly tilt your head and neck all the way up and all the way down again. Repeat for 10 seconds.

2 - Slow Side-to-Side Neck Tilts:
Slowly tilt your head and neck all the way left to all the way right. Repeat for 10 seconds.

3 - Slow Neck Rotations:
Slowly look as far left as is comfortable and then repeat on the right side. Repeat for 10 seconds.

4 - Shoulder Rotations:
Roll your shoulders forward and back in a circular motion. Do this for 5 seconds, and then do it in the opposite direction for 5 seconds.

5 - Slow March Jacks:
Slowly march in place, and for every step, bring your arms up and then down on the next step. Basically jumping jacks but marching in place instead of jumping. Do this for 10 seconds.

6 - Slow Side Jacks:
To start, place both hands on your hips and bend your knees slightly. Take a step to the left with your left leg, and at the same time, raise your left arm. Then, return to the starting position. Repeat this for the right side. Do this for 10 seconds.

7 - Alternating Chest Expansions:
Puff out your chest and rotate one arm as far backwards as you can, and at the same time, rotate the other arm forward at an angle parallel to your backward arm. Repeat on the other side. Do this for 10 seconds.

8 - Chest Expansions:
To start, puff out your chest and raise both of your arms to be at a t-pose with your palms facing forward; rotate your shoulders so that your arms are pointing slightly behind you. While keeping your arms straight, bring them both to the front and clap, then return to the starting position. Repeat for 10 seconds.

9 - Raised Arm Circles:
Raise your arms to your side in a t-pose position. While maintaining the t-pose position, rotate your shoulders as far forward as you can, and then as far backward as you can. Repeat for 10 seconds.

10 - Hip Rotations:
Rotate your upper body as far left as you can while keeping your lower body facing forward. Repeat on the right side. Do this for 10 seconds.

11 - Backwards Leg Raises:
Stand on your right leg with your hands by your sides with your left leg only being raised slightly above the ground. In one motion, rotate your left leg back and up into the air, rotate your left arm backwards with your shoulder, and your right arm up in front of you with your shoulder. Both of your arms should be almost parallel to your thigh. Bring your leg and arms back to the starting position. Do this for 5 seconds, then switch sides: Right leg back, right arm back, left arm up and forward.

12 - Side Leg Raises:
Stand on your right leg with your left leg hovering slightly off the ground. Raise your left leg to the side and then back. If balance is an issue, feel free to extend your arms outward in a t-pose. Do this for 5 seconds, then repeat on the other side for 5 seconds.

"DAMMIT, IM DOWN!!!"

Hey I - I need some help!
For every time you get incapacitated, do 1 burpee. Luckily, you have your teammates to get you up, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't train to get yourself up.

- Dying while black & white or otherwise being insta-killed is to be counted as a down.

- Intentionally downing yourself for gameplay advantages such as taking the aggro of a horde away from your teammates is not to be counted (no, throwing yourself at the tank still counts, Ellis).

"ARE YOU WRONG IN THE HEAD SHOOTING LIKE THAT?!"

Look at 'cha, you just put a bullet in the back 'a youngin's head!
If you shoot a teammate, plank for 5 seconds (and add another 5 seconds per incident) so that you may feel the pain you have inflicted unto them. This also applies to walking in front of your teammates and getting shot; this will train you to be able to stay low in front of your teammates.

- Intentional friendly fire incidents for gameplay advantage such as killing a black & white teammate to defib them to restore their health are not counted.

- Shooting a teamkiller does not count, and in fact is encouraged. Just remember to stop shooting them once they are incapped or have been kicked.

"Ah... I'm gonna miss your goofy ass..."

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, Ellis!
If a teammate dies, run in place for 10 seconds (and add 10 for every subsequent death) so you can be fast enough to reach them in time next time.

- Teammate deaths caused by going down while black & white or otherwise being insta-killed are not counted.

- Intentional teammate deaths for gameplay advantage such as being killed in the end-of-level saferoom to respawn with more health also are not counted.

- Deaths are also not to be counted if the teammate in question gets defibrillated. However when a defibrillation happens, the death is automatically removed from the teammate's deaths count at the endgame credits, so you don't need to worry about this.

Get down and give me 20. Heh, just messin'.

Agh, c'mon people!
Everyone just died and now you have to restart the level. You can reflect on your mistakes with 5 pushups.

Molotov out!

Your molotov miss the tank? Throw a bile and someone's boomed? Perform some other feat of throwable incompetency? Those things don't grow on trees! Do 5 situps and reflect on your poor throwable usage.

"Haul some ass, people!"

"Let's get movin', alright?"
Taking your time allows more time for more hordes to spawn. For every 3 minutes the campaign takes to complete, do a squat.

Everyone point and laugh.

"CHARGER'S POUNDIN' ME 'NTO THE GROUND!"

Help!
If you're caught by a special and lose more than 1 tick of health OR go down, whichever comes first, do 10 punches to practice for the hunter counter-shove that you probably just missed. This also applies to getting boomed, getting a teammate boomed (1 set of punches per boomer), or taking more than 1 tick of damage from spitter goo.

- If playing on a non-expert difficulty, replace losing 1 tick of health to "losing control of your character for 5+ straight seconds." Spitters still count if you take more than 1 tick of damage.

- Intentionally being caught by a special with a plan in mind such as intentionally walking into a jockey with a teammate behind you to immediately shove it off is not to be counted unless it breaks the aforementioned conditions. This also applies to intentionally strategically getting yourself boomed to take the aggro of the horde if one is already present.

"COMIN' THROUGH, WITCH ON MY ASS!!"

SHOOT THE WITCH, SHOOT THE WITCH!
You failed a crown attempt, or you missed the bunnyhops necessary to make enough distance for your teammates and/or molotov to kill her. Either way, practice those hops with some jumping jacks.

If you alert the horde in a way that is not required to progress through the level (eg car alarms), refer to the above section.

Certain things will earn you a get out of jail free card that you can use to remove 1 set from any workout you choose.

These things include:

-Healing / Defibbing a teammate

-Giving a teammate pills / adrenaline

-Team killer joins and causes mayhem (remember to remove any incaps/kills/wipes they may have caused from the final stats)

-All 4 survivors make it to the saferoom / escape vehicle

-Save a teammate from being pinned by a special before they take a single tick of damage.

-Protect a teammate 10 times

-Take the least amount of damage by the end of the campaign

-Kill the most infected by the end of the campaign

Friendly Fire Line of Fire violations:
Special Infected Mishaps:
Nades Wasted:
Witch incidents / non-mandatory hordes alerted:
Deaths that count as downs:
Pills/Adren Shared:
All 4 survivors make it:
Instant Special Saves:




Stuff that doesnt count (subtract these numbers from the credits stats)

Intentional downs:
Intentional Friendly Fire incidents:
Teammates' intentional deaths / instadeaths:
Teamkiller downs (on you):
Teamkiller kills (your teammates):
Teamkiller wipes:




Credits stats

Time taken:
Restarts:
Total Teammate Deaths:
Personal Incaps:
Teammates defibbed:
Most Infected Killed?:
Least damage taken?:
Friendly Fire incidents:
Protections:
Teammates healed:

May 26th, 2022: After some more testing of the routine, it appears that there are consistently significantly more squats than any other exercise of similar intensity. Squats have been changed from "1 squat every 2 minutes" to "1 squat every 3 minutes." The template has also been changed to better match the order that the stats in the credits appear.

July 11th, 2022: I notice that the jumping jacks from being attacked by the witch will rarely - if ever - happen (at least in my experience). Added "do 15 jumping jacks if you alert the horde" to the guide and the template.

January 18th, 2023:
- Added the note about this guide being intended for expert mode in the introduction.
- Added the warm-up routine.
- Added clarification to several exercise conditions, allowing strategies that previously would've been penalized.
-Changed the template to reflect these changes

- Tweaked being caught by a special from "losing control of your character for 5 straight seconds" to "taking more than 1 tick of damage."

Also, I went to the doctor and turns out my wrist injury is chronic. The introduction has been changed to warn of chronic injury rather than an injury lasting "a few months." Please, learn from my mistakes and always warm up before physical activity and stop when your body tells you to stop.

January 19th, 2023:
- Minor change to template to include instant teammate deaths.

March 21st, 2023:
- Added "Save a teammate from a special before they take a single tick of damage" to the selection of get-out-of-jail-free cards, and added it to the template.