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Serrated Bloody Blade of Dark Dispair

You always knew the Zombie Apocalypse would come. You prepared for this day as any Neckbeard would:
While they partied and slept with random women, you learned the way of the blade.
While they earned billions, you earned victories with pewter and plastic toys.
While they acquiesced to the liberal market, you learned to use cheap Chinese labor and 3D Printers.
While they indulged in mass media propaganda, you immersed yourself in digging secret underground pools in the jungle.

Clearly, YOU are the superior man; prepared for the apocalypse like no one else could possibly imagine. Ready for anything. As long as you don't have to run far.