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Bert's Classy Kicks

Bert's classy kicks, some say these are the root of Bert's powers. A run in with Baba Yaga gave life to the sleek pair, Bert was dancing around Baba and she said, enough with the lacing around, I need my sole to rest. And she cast a spell on the kicks, making them a shoehorn for any high level competition. Then Bert said, Oh no! Where shall I trek to acquire a finer horseshoe for mine lucky trinket rotation. But the shoes were nowhere to be found, they had just sneakered away.