"Whoever says a man and his dog is the strongest bond in the world, has clearly never superglued their genitals to a cat."

The interior of my vehicle consists of a polymer fusion of both alligator and crocodile hide, and the sound system currently equipped to said vehicle can produce sound at such a high volume that it can only be compared to that of a movie theatre.

It wasn't the chicken nuggets we forgot. It was ourselves. In that one, tiny, ever-so-important moment we forgot who we were. The cat knows it. You know it, I know it. We forgot all that makes us decent human beings, all that keeps us from slipping over the edge into the uncaring abyss, and because of that, people died. We have their blood on our hands, blood that will never be washed away.