Bran - The Impaler 最近的评测

I have no idea how to start this. To the core, I feel speechless upon the fact I got to love this game merely for deeply personal reasons which have absolute no connection to the common sense, so i'll do my best to sound like a normal person and not like a weirdo yet to be diagnosed with Lilacophilia (a word I just made up for 'Purple Fetish').

Perhaps stating that this game is likely to attract 80/90's Vaporwave admirers would be a decent kick-off. Secondly, it's a hook for whoever wants to see real people talking — aka: the voice acting is more than perfect, realistic and full of charisma. It's virtually impossible not to relate to any character. (If you played this game and disagree with me, you have no soul and Shang Tsung would starve if his life depended on you).

In a Nutshell, you Vaporwaving Fluffy Teddybears, this game is a cozy, well-designed, purplish walking and talking simulator in which you take control of a Radio. You must pick a song, play ad tapes, choose dialogues when speaking to the public and help them in any way you can. Speech lines leading to joy or death.

There's something weird about radios in the dead of the night that brings me joy and comfort. Not only did the devs bring this relaxing vibe but also mixed with a classic thriller atmosphere. There's no way a guy like me, with such refined glorious taste, would not fall in love with this game. Little Bran tells you to get this game and that's what you're gonna do, otherwise the Whistling Man is gonna get y'all.

Not sure if my words found the perfect Frequency, but it's surely a Killer game :D

Free, but they could easily charge for this.
If you — just like me — have a vast Steam Library with many games just staring at you asking to be played but you don't even know where to start or just don't want to think about it, maybe Puzzle Box Palace is the game for you. Just wander around a well built palace and solve easy puzzles. The coziness is well enough satisfactory for the wandering-lovers in steam, as well as potterheads who seek some magic puzzles. That's for both of you.
Get this game before the devs read this review and change their minds.

Little Finger (Petyr Baelish) features this game. That means his obsession with Sophies remains the same — from Sophie Turner to Sofia Amaral (MILF, btw) — and that's all you need to know about this game. Thus, I allow you to keep scrolling down to the next reviews. Bye!


Uh, I see you're still here. Ok, ok, context needed:

Quantum Break, in a nutshell, had the idea of bringing the most cinematic aspects to a game you'll likely never see around. From fantastic graphics to hollywood style soundtrack, there's no ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ way you won't see yourself inside a high-budget Sci-fi movie (you actually got, literally, A FILM during the game) Yet, it's still what it is: a game. The alchemy here is very simple: action levels + junction decision (your choice matters) + cinematic cutscene.
Looking back after beating this game, I neve thought I'd fall in love with this unusual formula. As far as I know, a movie is a movie and a game is a game. There's no midground. Oh boy, was I wrong...

Gameplay is something uncomplainable (does this damn word exist? Whatever): precise aiming, good dosage of superpower use (time manipulation), great story and acting, and most importantly (no, I'm not joking): THE BEST SOUNDFX I'VE EVER SEEN IN ANY GAME. Sometimes you'll just drop your keyboard and keep listening.

So, what are you gonna do, teddybear? Just stand there and let Little Finger play his little games in other Multiverses?

After all, Winter if Coming... uh, I mean... The Countermeasure is Coming!

Got this amazing game from a Totally Reliable Orange Grumpy Cat
He doesn't meow, but he says "I'm Good"

Despite the fact Dr. Amy looks like my ex-girlfriend, I actually like this game quite a lot. I should start by saying that choices DO REALLY MATTER in this interactive film. Even some minor decisions from the very beginning can impact the outcome.
In a nutshell, it follows the character likeability. How you get close or dislike a character will open new possibilities (if I'm not mistaken, there're 9 different endings and nearly 200 scenes to be unlocked).
I like the story, the characters and find it pretty straightforward. You'll be compelled to replay several times to check how many possibilities the narrative can present you. At first I cosplayed a nice guy. In the others, a total ♥♥♥♥. And so on.

Not so sure if the time is right for Little Bran (aka: me) to talk about the City of Gangstas and Milfs. Should I?

Well, let's start by saying I'm kinda speechless after scrolling down the reviews, which forced me to label these people in two groups: 1 - "I love Pay Day 2 and this is never going to amuse me as such". 2 - "I hate Pay day 3 and this is what it should have been".

Ok ok, let's first "everybody calm down!". (Just picture for a moment Lucius Malfoy playing moderate when all wands were up in the Mystery Department. Yeah, that's me, albeit I have dark curly hair, not straight blonde).

Aren't you guys forgetting a simple rule of gaming? The first? Square number one? Here it is: a game needs to be... entertaining! Plain and simple. Crime Boss: Rockay City fills this simple and very basic game foundation:

- Little Bran can talk about graphics (I have a mid-spec and play well in ultra/high/custom settings). You can still see the very fabric of clothings and the texture skin detail when you get close anyone — even considering this game has a kinda cartoonish approach to visual style. I suggest strongly you mess with the settings within the tutorial mission already and find your perfect beauty/performance/preferred spot.

- Little Bran can talk about gameplay, which is satisfying as well. The devs knew they didn't need to reinvent the wheel, just bring back what works in good fps games. Shoot, hide, crouch, etc. (Alright, alright, the only downside is that when you're running your shoes become rollerblades. That's funny, at least, huh?).

- Little Bran can talk about heists. The missions are relatively smaller and simpler compared to Pay Day 2, however, some can take longer in higher difficulty levels, considering you have to time infiltration, avoid detection and plan your next moves to take out guards or civilians; not to mention the procedural generation elements from some environments, contributing for replayability. You'll find yourself chatting with your friends about which is the best way to approach the missions and so far I had no issues with online gameplay as well.

- There's a Campaign mode you definitely should check out and it brings a brand new dynamic to the game. It features budget managing, turf taking, strategic thinking and, obviously, heists.

- Other than that, the Summer Luxury vibe this game features is gonna bring you back to Miami or California in the 80's. I find it both cozy and exciting.

Due to the precocious nature of this review (~10h gameplay) it could undergo quite a few adjustments — especially considering the devs are pretty active into updating this +80g pile of data. More ongoing content, luckily, to make y'all delete your porns.

Little Bran approves of this huge mountain of gigabytes. Therefore, kisses in your sandy summery tanned asses, okay?
Bran out. Bye!

Hi, my teddybears. How are you doing? Uncle Bran needs to point some things out for this game:

1 - The soundtrack is so pumped up it makes you score +100 nonstop combos without even noticing. After a while, you look back and ask yourself "What have I done?".
2 - Hammerfisting the X button to perform infinite combos will never get you tired.
3 - Perfect game for Retro Arcade Lovers. Also playable in local-coop with that nasty cousin of yours who can't play beat'em up scroll games.
4 - Have I ever mentioned the amazing Soundtrack?
5 - The characters are simple yet charismatic, especially the girl with her enraged screams as you line up monsters and kick their asses. It fits well with the soundtrack as if she's singing along with it.
6 - The soundtrack. Have I... er... talked about it?
7 - Really really nice if you love games like TMNT, Streets of Rage or Final Fight.
8 - The soundtrack... well, I might have forgotten that, right?

Just get it.
Kisses in your red asses.

I think the devs should take this game more seriously. It has a lot of potential to be abandoned, and it is too good to be free.

The gameplay hit the spot, which is something rare to see nowadays. It's calibrated, smooth and the zombie headshots gives you an addicting reward. In the end, the game is nothing more than a pleasureable loop, but what else do you need?

DEVS, get your ass back here and continue this game! Ok, ok, this is not gonna work. They're Chinese. I have to call them out in Mandarim: 都给我滚回来，继续比赛！

Also: 如果他们不让这个游戏继续运营，我就告诉习近平，这个游戏的开发者们叫他小熊维尼！

This is not a threat. That's a promise!

Get on with this and charge at least 5 bucks in this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Game! You've been warned.
Kisses in your chinese asses.

One of the simplest yet best 2D platform games I had the pleasure to encounter at Steam.
The controlls are responsive, visuals are cozy and takes you back to some amazing other games you probably played, like Buster Bunny's Hidden Treasure, Zueirama (you can get it on steam btw), Sonic from genesis, etc.
Straight to the point: jump, attack, go right and relax. That's all you need.
ps: I love Kaze, The Bunny. It's a mix of Tails and Buster Bunny.

This was the first game I decided to play after my father passed away. Honestly, I don't know what I was looking for... a distraction for my pain, maybe... leisure, perhaps?... or a sheer attempt to carry on with my regular life, and that includes keeping my gaming habit to bring me a smile or two.
When I saw Downward in my Steam Library, I knew I had it for quite some time, among many others I couldn't find the right timing to sit down and play.
Again, I don't know what I was looking for. I needed to have the sensation of flying, jumping, as if was trying to reach the sky or something. I needed to have a sample of what heaven was like, unlike the types of games I usually play.
Well, getting down to business, Downward is a short entertaining game with fantasy and exploration aspects, but the main feature is the parkour. You boost for high jumps, touch the sky, fall, rebound, hook up, and all the rest. I mean, if you played and liked "A Story About My Uncle" this would be another nice option for you. I recommend this game, all in a nutshell. It brought me a bit of peace at least.