i see woman. brain immediately closes all tabs. i say “hello” and it sounds like i’ve been rehearsing it in a mirror for seven years

she says something normal and i respond like i’m trying to solve a math problem out loud. i forget my own name for a second and just commit to standing there too long

conversation ends and i walk away like i just failed an interview for a job i didn’t apply for

The Muffin Man, 47, of Druly Lane was arrested today on 2 counts of felony assault, 1 count of attempted murder and 6 counts of criminal mischief. He is held on a $2.5 million cash bond and awaiting trial. He is being held in Illinois Dept of Corrections. If convicted, he could face up to life in prison. Prosecutors are unaware if a plea deal will be made but as of now, he has not said anything related to his crimes and is being represented by legendary defense attorned F Lee Bailey who was part of the infamous dream team in the OJ Simpson trial.

One day he got out of his truck and started doing the pine grove shuffle on the side of his house by the woods. Its a supernatural dance because he was dancing fir the Lord. Then he found out more people were doing it all over the world. He had no idea what it was called or who made it up. But It came to him

BRINGO BRANGO BRONGO

Mirror mirror on the wall, who has the poopiest butt hole of them all??3??
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