Dear Alex,

Today we played YAPYAP, the latest iteration of friendslop available on the platform. I must say it was quite an enjoyable experience, many laughs, many poof yous and many telelocks were had.

If I die in the upcoming World War 3, please remember fondly these moments we've had together. And for those reading this in the future, did we make it out alright?

3–0 ballgame with the Reds in front of the Royals as we go to the top half of the fifth inning, Castellanos to lead things off. Jim Day's gonna be taking us the rest of the way through this game as Holland takes over on the mound. Um, I made a comment earlier tonight that I guess went out over the air that I am deeply ashamed of. If I have hurt anyone out there, I can't tell you how much I say from the bottom of my heart I'm so very, very sorry. I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith – as there's a drive into deep left field by Castellanos

Is that all you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥ can say?!? Duurrhhlll... Based, based, cringe, cringe, based, based, cringe, cringe, cringe, based, cringe... I feel like I'm in a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ asylum full of dementia-ridden old people that can do nothing but repeat the same ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ words on loop like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ broken record!!! Cringe cringe cringe cringe!!! Cringe, based, based! Onions? Onions, SNOYY!! Onions L O L onions! Cringe, BOOMER?? Le zoomer, I am BOOMER!!! No zoom zoom zoomies!! Zoomer going zoomies!! YnnnggGGHHAAHH I..♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate the internet so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ much... ♥♥♥♥! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, honest to...god...♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hope your mother CHOKES on her own feces in hell you...♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. But oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh I know my post is CRINGE!! ISN'T IT??? Cringe, cringe, CRINGEY cringe, based, cringe, based, REDDIT?? CRINGE!! BASED? CRINGE!! ZOOM?? CRINGE!! ONIONS?? REDDIT, BASED....BASED!!

Oh mine GOD, 😳 😳 I accidentally 🙈 🙈 hath sent 😳 thou a picture of mine phallus 🍆 🍆 ...prithee delete it! ❌ ❌ ! 'Lest. ..thou desire to look? 😏 😏 Haha I jest.. Delete it.:..Should thee crave..? 😳 🙈 ... Haha nay, ❌ Banish it.:'Lest? 🙈 😳

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what if one day you woke up and your nipples were completely gone
like no scars or anything, just flat skin
and then once you leave your room you find out your dad died last night
and then several days later, you find out that for your entire life your dad had been sneaking into your room while you slept
and sucking on your chest to make to gigantic hickeys where your nipples should be
because you were born without them
not for any sexual reason, just so you would fit in