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报告翻译问题

Chicago, Illinois, United States
╚═(███)═╝ post this on 50 profiles and all of your memes will be dank
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bob was gonna unleash it u missed out mang
Anyway, the manager, completely embarrassed (this is a pretty nice restaurant) comes by and says “I’m so sorry, but we’d like to move you to another table if you could be troubled, and we’ll gladly compensate you for the cost of the meal and any other meal you’d like while you’re in town.” My sister and cousin were both like “Yeah that’s cool.” and I kind of played the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ a bit.
“I’m sorry, I just don’t understand. We’ve been here for 15 minutes - we’ve just ordered. Can’t we finish our meal here?”
And I (being a big Hogan fan) said “Oh wow, uh… I had no idea. Please feel free to give them the table.”
Hulk was grateful, shook my hand and said thanks, then gave me a card with his number on it and told me to give him a call later. After working up the nerve, I gave him a call that night, and to make a long story short, we had a glorious 11 month love affair, man on man, that I shall never forget. Our bodies intertwined as one, and from the beauty of Morocco, to the French Riviera, to the snorkeling in the Galopagos, Hulk Hogan and I made glorious gay love to each other on six of the seven continents.
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$____________Legalize Dank Memes._________________$