(　`´︶´¯`︶´`´︶︶´*★ 　^v^　 ┊❅　 °☆ . 　 ☆ :. ☆ 　　
　 ) ) 　⦅‖ ͇͇ ͇͇▃▇͇͇͌̿̿⌂͇͇▌..*　★　　☆ . 　 ★ ^v^ 　°　❅ 　☆ . 　 ★ ^v^ 　°　
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╱◥◣ ◥████◣▓∩▓∩║ 　 MERRY CHRISTMAS &　│∩ │◥███◣ ╱◥███◣
│╱◥█◣║∩∩∩ ║╲◥███╲ 　 HAPPY NEW YEAR ╱◥◣ ◥████◣▓∩▓│∩
││∩│ ▓ ║∏ 田║▓ 田田 ▓ ∩║ ii--ii--ii ⏃☃⏃ ii--ii--ii--ii │╱◥█◣║∩∩∩ ║◥█▓ ▓█
☸๑۩๑๑۩๑๑۩๑๑۩๑๑۩๑๑۩๑๑۩„„„„„„„„☸„„„„„„„☸„„„„„„„☸๑۩๑๑۩๑๑۩๑๑۩๑๑۩๑๑۩๑๑۩

Hey Users of Reddit! I showed my penis to a police officer and now he has detained me and left me in the holding cells, AITA?

I see this beautiful Asian feminine police woman walking in the park with a group of search dogs. So I see her, and I am bewildered, her stunning looks, her feminine posture, yet masculine way of handling dogs. I decide, after years of abstaining from sex. I decided to introduce myself to the lovely young lady. I say “Hey cutie? Those aren’t the only puppies I want to see” (referring to her abnormally huge breasts, they looked like Meg-Chan’s from my favorite anime, Family Guy.) She looked shocked and awed, jaw dropped to the ground, and I felt like the man. I muttered to myself “I like where this is going” and pulled out my feminine 22mm penis, and she proceeded to mace me, and the dogs bit my genital area. I may be charged with public indecency and sexual harassment, but I don’t think I am in the wrong here. AITA?

IF U WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA MOTHA ♥♥♥♥♥ THAT KILLED U!


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WE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
Send this HOT GLOCC to everyone you care about including me if you care. C how many times you get this, if you get a HOT GLOCC your A TRUE HOMIE

I gunna berry but on a cooler account

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According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway. Because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.” SEQ. 75 - “INTRO TO BARRY” INT. BENSON HOUSE - DAY ANGLE ON: Sneakers on the ground. Camera PANS UP to reveal BARRY BENSON’S BEDROOM ANGLE ON: Barry’s hand flipping through different sweaters in his closet. BARRY Yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black...oohh, black and yellow... ANGLE ON: Barry wearing the sweater he picked, looking in the mirror. BARRY (CONT’D) Yeah, let’s shake it up a little. He picks the black and yellow one. He then goes to the sink, takes the top off a CONTAINER OF HONEY, and puts some honey into his hair. He squirts some in his mouth and gargles. Then he takes the lid off the bottle, and rolls some on like deodorant.