Sir it comes to my conclusion that you as an individual have not taken part in the required meat inspection taken every week on Thursday at 6:37 PM Eastern Standard time. I am fully aware of your meat and that it has not been checked since November the 1st 2013. I’ll let you know that I am a certified major in meat inspection duties and I shall proceed to inspect your individual meat. Black meats must pay a fine of $7.53 in order to be inspected. Failure to be inspected will conclude to public hanging and your meat will be cut off and made into official French Ass Cream. Now, I order you to hereby expose your meat for inspection.