this girl texted me "helpmyspacebarbrokecanyoucomeoverandgivemeanalternative"
so I was wondering what "ternative" means?


A man dies and goes to heaven.
In heaven, he sees a wall of very large clocks.
He asks the Angel "What are all these clocks for?"
Angel answers "These are lie clocks, every person has one lie clock. Whenever you lie on earth, the clock ticks once."
The man points towards a clock and asks, "Who's clock does this belong to?"
Angel answers 'This clock belongs to Mother Teresa. It has never moved, so she has never told a lie."
then the man asks "Where is Hillary Clintons clock?"
The Angel replies "That one is in our office, we use it as a table fan."


-What do you call a Communist sniper?
-A Marxman.


Money can buy you a bed but not the sleep. A book, but not the brain. Sex, but not the love. Connections, but the friends. Icon, but not faith. Place in the cemetery, but no in the sky...


-9 out of 10 Americans are stupid...
-I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.


-Why is the archaeologist sad?
-Because his career is in ruins.

-Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
-Because he wasn't born yesterday

-Mickey Mouse is in court, trying to get a divorce from Minnie... "Mr. Mouse", says the judge, "I'm afraid you can't get a divorce just because your wife is a little strange."

-"I didn't say she was a little strange, I said she was ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Goofy".


-I thought vasectomies were supposed to keep me from getting my wife pregnant??
-Apparently, it just changes the color of the baby. Go figure.



-Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
-Cuz she wasnt wearing a seatbelt.

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.

If you think I am hacking watch ---> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48Vkf3DZD00

second account: http://psteamcommunity.yuanyoumao.com/id/iRusHammer/

case 30
cartel ak fn
m4 king fn
p250 muertos fn