I am a high speed trader. I get in and out of trades faster than I can pull out of your mom, namely 230 microseconds on average.

I was formerly a Rogue Trader for a large investment bank. My illicit activities bankrupted my former employer to the tune of $6.9 Billion overnight. I was sentenced to 5 years in federal prison for my felonious trading activities. Turns out Jet Fuel Futures can't melt steel beams. My former employer states that I was assigned to arbitrage discrepancies between equity derivatives and cash equity prices, and that I allegedly "began creating the fictitious trades in late 2006 and early 2007, but that these transactions were relatively small. The fake trading increased in frequency, and in size." I dispute all of these allegations.

I am a disgraced, former S.A.C portfolio manager. Now, I am a high speed trader working out of my federal prison cell. My trades are so fast that they are imperceptable, even by the SEC.
So the SEC won't let me be me
Try to shut me down at RBC
And the order book feels empty without me