Citizens of Super Earth! Do you yearn for the sweet taste of LIBERTY? Does your heart swell with pride at the thought of spreading DEMOCRACY across the uncivilized reaches of the galaxy? Do you possess an uncanny tolerance for collateral damage and the occasional "oops" moment involving orbital bombardments? Then enlist in the Helldivers today!

Those wretched insectoids, cyborg tyrants, and unwashed alien hordes threaten the very fabric of our way of life! Their vile existence is an affront to the ideals Super Earth holds dear. Fear not, brave citizen, for your weapons are the tools of liberation! Your very footsteps bring the righteous fire of democracy to these benighted planets.

Sure, a few brave souls may fall in the line of duty. An errant dropship may occasionally turn a loyal soldier into a rather thin patriotic pancake. Those are merely the noble sacrifices demanded by progress! Each splattered bug, each liberated world, and yes, even the occasional "friendly fire" incident – these are testaments to your unwavering dedication.

Join us, Helldivers! Let the enemies of Super Earth tremble at the sound of your battle cry! Your valiant efforts (and perhaps a few well-timed supply drops to replace lost comrades) will usher in a new age of freedom!

For democracy! For liberty! For Super Earth! BLahahahahhahahahahaha!!!!!!