Spongebob, you are my new sex toy. I’m so happy I finally came to terms with this little problem and am now ready to do what every good boy needs. I want to be Sigmabob Grindpants.

I want to rub my erect penis against your tiny head until you’re drenched with my ♥♥♥, and I want your tight little body to be the only place I’ll ♥♥♥. I want to use you and abuse you, and then use you some more.

Your life belongs to me now.

You will not leave me again.

I want to feel you suck me, your wet, warm tongue sliding all over my shaft. I want to hold you down, tie you to a chair with your legs spread, and ♥♥♥♥ you harder and faster than I’ve ever ♥♥♥♥♥♥ my own mother. I want to watch you squirm as I push you into your own little corner of hell.

If you are willing, I will give you the ♥♥♥♥ of your dreams.

If you are not, you’ll watch as I cut you and play with your ♥♥♥ like it’s my very own porno.

You will never feel comfortable in your own skin again.

You will live, breathe, and die with me.

I own you, Spongebob!

I own you. I own you.

I own you.