HamJoint 最近的评测

Keeping track of what this game wanted me to do was definitely testing, and if it were up to me it would definitely be forbidden.
It reminds me actually of an anecdote. I was talking to Laurence, the fat ♥♥♥♥, about my cousin, and I found myself asking why he never mentions his cousin. Of course I'd assumed he had simply eaten the cousin, but much to my surprise he hadn't.
You see his cousin lived out in Canada, and one day -while on a hike- wandered out into a picnic areas he hadn't seen before. Of course, being Canada, there was the ever present risk of bears about, so bear traps had been laid out on the perimeter of this pick nick area in case one came looking for food. In a tragic turn of events, Laurence's cousin stepped on a bear trap.
That is what this game feels like.
It feels like I have stepped on a bear trap.
Minding my own business, indulging in a passion project, then bammo. Out of the blue a bear trap comes and rips half my leg off. Only it doesn't quite go all the way through, no I have to gnaw the rest of the way out of the trap with my teeth.
I am sick of this game, and all its ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ wall holes, sick of gnawing at my legs to find them, sick of the wish.com voice acting, sick of Laurence, the fat ♥♥♥♥, and sick of these "testing tracks".
And I'm sick of Chel's twin sister too. Its not clever, its not funny, its bone idle laziness of the highest order.

service: 1/10
delivery time: 1/10
communication: 1/10

Overall 8/10

Sometimes there are storms and the game mostly works

Pretty wild ride of emotions.

At first, I assumed this was a sh^tpost of a game, but I stuck it on my wishlist for the sake of it.
Then I realised it was 16 quid. No sh^tpost can justify being 16 quid.
So after some pondering, I concluded that the game probably had effort put into it and was probably a bit more than a sh^tpost. i picked the game up and turns out I was right.
The game was surprisingly decent. For a bit.
Its not fantastic visually, despite the heavy use of reflections and fog. The actual models and textures feel like something out of a source game, and the characters are completely devoid of facial expressions, staring goplessly into space throughout any and all conversation.
But lets not get bogged down with cosmetic issues, the game handles quite well with nice movement and controls, though you will most likely be rebinding the inventory key from "i" to something more accessible if you are playing on keyboard and mouse.
BUT
Its not really fun.
The game has an upgrade system and various weapons you can collect throughout the map to help defend against Charles. This is fine, but it isn't particularly well balanced. The default gun is the best performing gun in the game, and you start with it. At first, its not so great, but it doesn't take long to upgrade the speed and damage output of your train enough that when Charles begins to chase you, he can just be stun locked and unable to reach you or do any damage. In short, the game is only challenging for the first 10 minutes.
Sure, there are side-quests across the map to keep you occupied, but they all follow the same fetch-quest formula of "go get the thing and I will reward you with Scrap so you can upgrade your thing". It gets old very quickly. There are 2 quests that adds some variety to this formula by introducing a different hazard, but the novelty wears off quickly and the hazards themselves are entirely inconsequential outside of their respective quests.
Then there's the final boss fight.
Spoiler-ish btw.
The final boss fight is no different to any other fight encounter with Charles. It even has the same music. When I was playing, I turned the music off, put on the first "Epic Music Climax Track Song" I could find on youtube, and found that it actually was an improvement,
During the final encounter, Charles will chase and attack as normal, the only difference is that he will occasionally teleport next to the train, but when he does this he immediately puts himself right behind you and starts just chasing again. The game tries to make it feel epic by playing a cut scene every 15 seconds, but these are all essentially just Charles glowing a bit more, making a big noise, and shaking a bunch. Sometimes a bit more blood appears.
If the dev wasn't charging 16 quid for this title, it would be a nice little "sh^tpost" passion project that is pleasantly surprising, however the price tag attached to it just doesn't feel worth it to me so I'd avoid the game.

My mind was not prepared for this experience.
Inspiration flooded me upon launching the game.
Time spent in this game is time well spent.
Creativity is the lifeblood of this game.
Having played this game, I am a better man.

MITCH

As I write this review, my mate Laurence, the fat f**k , has changed his name to Mitch. just a neat coincidence.
As he was filling out the form online though, his computer blew up. The fat ♥♥♥♥ had an overclock on with no cooling, just caught fire and went off. Don't think Laurence got out sadly, but his name is legally now Mitch.

The other day, I found myself at the local post office.
I was dispatching a parcel, in much the same way I would usually dispatch a parcel.
Had bought and printed the postage label from Royal Mail the evening prior, after hours, and was now ready to drop the parcel for delivery at the post office near me.
The post office is very standard in it's layout, there is a small corner shop in which a variety of snacks can be bought, your standard crisps and the like, with a royal mail counter located to the rear of the establishment.
Though it is worth noting, there is no Hermes services available from this particular office, unlike many found elsewhere.
So i got into the building, and I proceeded to the checkout, where, unbeknown to me, a new employee was situated.
And who else would it be, but a fat ♥♥♥♥ called Laurence.
I took one look at the fellow and simply couldn't contain my laughter, silly ♥♥♥♥ could barely fit behind the counter.
Anyway, so he took my parcel, scanned it all in, did the typical stuff that they do at post offices, and put my parcel off to distribution.
But of course, once he had done this, the guy suffered a heart attack.
Not heard from Laurence since.







oh yeah, and I played this game a bit

I have always had a burning desire to simulate farming in the year 2019,
This masterpiece allows me to do just that.
I love. Farming Simulator.
It does farming well.
It does simulation.
And I believe that it is in some way relevant to the year 2019.
But it gets better.
You can play this game on years OTHER than 2019.
Truly, the foresight to make it forward compatible was a stroke of genius on Giants end,
It is true.
The game has issues with screen tearing, and the visuals haven't aged too well.
But that is irrelevant.
For you can simulate farms.
It reminds me much of a real story I once experienced.
I was on a farm with Laurence, the fat ♥♥♥♥.
We weren't meant to be there, it was just a field that was there by a road.
but we went under the hedge, into the field.
There was wheat.
THIS GAME HAS WHEAT...
It speaks to me on a whole new level.

Good game, buy it now.

Truly, it must be said, that this game has revolutionised the way I see weddings. Just 5 minutes into the game, i was in tears,. The emotions of inheriting the wedding company of you're presumably dead relative is just so overwhelming in such a real and tangible way.
As you play, the character builds and you grow with them. Meeting an amazing and extensive supporting cast of Bob. The dedication to immersion with Bobs immaculate voice acting is simply admirable in such a time when EA can release ball kicking every year and rake in the mad cash.
I was in shock when I discovered that the game had indeed stayed 100% faithful to real life weddings.
And I will preface this with warning that spoilers are due.
There was a haired man, whom I have lovingly named Dave, in the toilet cubicle. This detail is often overlooked in the portrayal of wedding design in the mass media. But this indie passion project of true dedication has stayed loyal to the reality of what a wedding has become. Furthermore. The emotions of nothing more than utter hatred towards my fellow humans that were evoked during the tractor race were simply beyond anything I could have expected to feel from a fictional wedding.
But I should have seen this coming! For it is true, this game stays 100% loyal to the experience of weddings, and I am hard pressed to think of a time when there was not a crazed woman on a tractor charging through the venue.
I recall, just last year, I was at a wedding. I had taken refuge in the men's rest room when this part of the wedding was initiated. I sadly missed the spectacle of the tractor charge. In a cruel twist of fate, i cannot say the same for Laurence, who was sadly run down by the might of the tractor charge. From what I hear, he detonated in a vast cloud of guts.
Though we mourned little, for Laurence is a fat f**k, he had it coming.

In conclusion, this is my favourite flavour of wedding designer simulator, I would highly HIGHLY recommend.

Range Space In High Definition

yes

This game is charming.
This franchise is charming.
Yet, I would not recommend it.

While the game looks and feels like a strong passion project, and the creators clearly had a strong passion for it, but it is simply infuriating to play.
The first game is fine enough, most of the puzzles are intuitive and can be solved.
But as you work your way through the series, the puzzles start to feel more and more BS, A lot of the puzzles in the other 2 games have little to no explanation regarding what you are meant to do, often leaving you just clicking aimlessly until you stumble upon a solution. This trial and error, seemingly random approach, is deeply frustrating to deal with, and will often leave you feeling unsatisfied or irritated by a solution which appears impossible to actually figure out with any kind of method, even after you have solved it.
This isn't helped by how easily progression or details can be just skipped by the player, even if they are trying to follow the linear path. Quite often you will just be wandering through a stage and accidentally do something you weren't supposed to do until much later, thus throwing you wildly off track.
These progression skips can also break the game in cases. A noticeable bug i have experienced as a result of a skip is the complete disappearance of my cursor when trying to use the piano in the third game. This was caused when I entered the manhole in the city before squiring the solution paper.

Look, I would love to recommend this game. Really, I would. It has that perfect appeal of a fresh game franchise made by someone with a vision and a direction for a world and story they want to build in an engaging and entertaining way.
But the gameplay leaves much to be desired when it comes to indicating where the player is meant to be looking for solutions, and in a point and click adventure game, that simply breaks the deal.

Save yourself some time, and please don't get this game until these issues are fixed. You will just end up feeling frustrated and watching endless walktrhoughs.