My fellow Americans, as your president and commander in chief, it is with a, heavy heart, that I'm informing you that we have made a strategic decision to surrender to the alien invaders known as The Combine. Right now this is our best chance for survival as Americans, and as humans. This has been the hardest decision of my life, and I did not do so lightly. As Americans, and indeed as human citizens, we have never willingly surrendered to oppression, and this very idea is anathema to our very core values and everything we hold dear. Yet the fact, and hard truth, remains that we lost this battle, for now. And believe me- we will live to fight another day, we shall return! God bless you, and God bless the United States of America.

⢠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣶⣄
⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏
⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣉⠉⠉⠉
⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦
⠀⣾⣿⠏⣥⣤⣍⢻⣿⣷
⢰⣿⣿⡈⣿⣿⣿⡄⢿⣿⡇
⣸⣿⣿⣷⡘⣿⣿⣿⣌⢻⠇
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡘⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⢻⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣙⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦
⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣬⣭⣉⡙⢿⣿
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⢉⡛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⡿
⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿-rep⠻⣷⣶⣤⣬⣭⣍⣥⠞⠁
⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠛⠋⣡⣴⣶⣦⣄⡀
⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⢋⣥⣤⡍⢻⣆,

I have 42 potatos. You're still my favorite.

so basically I was in my bedroom just beating my meat you know, busy edging almost for an hour then my dad knocks on the door and tells me we gotta get some ♥♥♥♥ for dinner and he needs help carrying stuff.

so I slide my throbbing engorged ass meat back in my pants and the only ♥♥♥♥♥♥ underwear I had left was tight as ♥♥♥♥. I get that ♥♥♥♥ on and we get in da car and im tryna bump some crazy frog u kno and I put on Axel F.

I should mention we got a system in the car with a ♥♥♥♥ ton of bass so that ♥♥♥♥ HIT, car bounced like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ tennis ball going 200mph and made me cream my ♥♥♥♥♥♥ pants...

after the incident ion know how to feel, proud, horny, depressed? I just don’t know man felt the need to tell yall about this.

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Sorry dude, I mean you no harm. My name is Patrick, I'm 31, and I'm not here to cause any harm. Please don't contact the police, please don't alert the authorities, please don't freak out. I'm not going to kill myself or hurt anyone or anything like that, but please don't freak out. My name is Patr