You may aspire to be me, but the harsh reality is I am and always will be a superior form of existence,

By the age of six I reached physical and mental heights most men can only dream of.

When I was nine, Russia joined the other 'super-powers' of the world in proclaiming me 'Один выше всех' - The one above all.

Twelve, I had all holy scripts - including the bible and the Q'aran - rewritten to refer to their respected deities as 'He Who Claps'.

By the time I was 14 my name was added to the Oxford Dictionary, defined to mean 'undeniable perfection'.

I've been banned from all forms of competition as it was seen as 'abuse to the impaired' when the former 'elites' of their profession were directly compared to me.

So when I inevitably annihilate you in any aspect of existence, just know that you were outmatched from the beginning, and accept that some are just simply made to scrub the boots of their superiors.

And find comfort in that, as I, your superior, do.