The only ingredients: gluten, yeast, salt, water, salt water, lukewarm water, Jonathan-warm water, baking powder, baking soda, baking water, molasses, vanilla, nutmeg, cinnamon, sugar, powdered sugar, brown sugar, brown water, dark chocolate chips, buttermilk, eggs, rolled oats, oil and vinegar, again: oil and vinegar, vegetable oil, olive oil, canola oil, The Egg, cheese, olives, cucumbers, tomatoes, raw onions, REAL olives, parsley, thyme, flour (NOT ALWAYS), chips, toast, soda, batter, food: the magic ingredient, carbon dioxide, a sponge, a living plant, cubes, emotion, Skillet, a sharp knife, rust, a good wrist, your fingers, your local dentist, a family of four not-so-hungry people, and syrup on the side (or waste product, if you want a REALLY kinky muffin)!

So, I was at my friend's place. It's 3 AM, and my friend Mike was absolutely out for the count on the couch, mouth wide open, snoring like an Irish guy. Naturally, being his bro, I thought it would be funny if I made him sniff my balls, so I got myself naked and tried to teabag him a little bit without making it sexual, because he's my bro and I have to do it. I'm hovering over him, trying to maintain a precarious squat, and then tried to flick my balls with my finger just to get them to tag his nose, so his nose would suck them right into his nose. The balls got vacuumed into his nose as I expected them to, but the thing is that it felt really good, so it made me lose my balance for just a moment, which caused my balls to enter his mouth and wake him up.

I am in the middle of carrying a league of legends game about to close it out, and my bra-less wife brings me a sandwich (not asked for) with chips as I get a double kill bot lane. So how is your day going?

I'm taking you off the cinnamon toast crunch and putting you onto the Cascadian Farm Organic Cinnamon Crunch Breakfast Cereal - 9.2oz

We had a golf plan together, but you still haven't confirmed when. I believe you might have forgotten.