We Are A Part Of The Entire Walrus Population

When I was s young child, I used to dream about being a walrus. In the wee hours of the evening, I would flop onto the floor in te living room and smack my sides with my arms. While doing so, I would loudly make the mating calls of a walrus, continuing to flop and show the bodacious female walruses how lucky they would be to be under my blubber as we make a bunch of babies. Father was furious after a few wweks, and started yelling at me to go to bed. I, being the brave walrus I was, smacked him with my blubber covered arms because they jiggle. My cousins were diligent in not joinging a ten year ol 'boy' (bicth did not want to admit I was a walrus) in murdering, so I went upstairs to my aunts bed, and laid my walrus body on top of her and crushed he to death. I looked down at my 5 year old cousin, with a blank face and said, " It willl be you next that gets crushed by my fat ass i you don't join." Eventually, my walrus gang became the most feared in all of the statesof New York. I ripped the mayors face off with my teeth. But, before that he screamed at me, "why are you doing this?" And I quietly whispered "Because Imma wild animal, beocth." But, alas. The police eventually caught us. We were trapped in an ally, blubber arm in mid swing, and I pushed my 7 year old cousin and said "She told me she was a walrus!" I convinced them that my cousin was the mastermind, and that she orchestrted the whole plan. They told me that my story was not likely, because she could not even pronounce "orchestrated" correctly. So, I told them softly."she is a retarded waslrus." They let me go on parole. I occasionally get the urge to slap a ♥♥♥♥♥, however, I know that one day, the walrus man will find his way out of me, and shall bubber the entire world.