Small asian child found unconcious near computer, mayor says zombies to blame

The events of the last few days have sparked a fervor of pro-zombie and anti-zombie tensions that are sweeping the country. Both sides seem charged by allegations that zombies were involved in the collapse of a young asian child, even though forensic analysis and the official police reports deny any zombie involvement.

While pro-zombie outrage has been strong, anti-zombie sentiments have been the worst, with a seemingly grassroots undercurrent of zombie hatred bubbling over into full blown rioting. Several major cities exploded with riots that have lasted the better part of the day, with looting, vandalism and random violence, directed towards zombies, throwing the urban areas into chaos.

The worst of it took place in suburban long island new york, with roving anti-zombie gangs brutally attacking any undead-american they came across. These gangs even went so far as to break into houses owned by zombie citizens, dragging the victims out into the street where they were beaten severely, tied up, and in some cases, set on fire. According to one eyewitness, a Mr. A. Lenn, "It was horrible, these thugs broke into the home of my next door neighbor, pulled him screaming out of his house by his ankles, tied him to a lampost and then poured gasoline on him before igniting him with a torch! How can people do things like this?"

None of the victims of these attacks were seriously injured, but many were traumatized and a few were greatly inconvenienced as one undead man explains, "Do you have any idea how embarassing it is to have to spend an hour on your hands and knees in the middle of the day searching through the grass in your front yard trying to find your eyeballs? It's humiliating! Not to mention I'm going to smell like burnt hamburger for at least a week."

Authorities have tried to contain the unrest but have so far been unsuccessful, as riot police are greatly outnumbered by rioters who remain on the move and have kept police unable to contain the angry mobs to isolated city blocks.

The governor of New York reportedly claimed that all of this madness would stop if Mayor D.L. Seeyi would simply apologize, but we have been unable to verify the authenticity of this quote.

The mayor still has refused to comment and continues to ignore all of our attempts to contact him. Bystanders have reported that he has shut his window-blinds and locked the door to his office, leading political analysts to conclude that he is hiding.