elitist zoophile neckbeard circlejerk

Good. You opened this message. This isn't actually asari military command. They're busy tending to what's left of their planet.

So you survived our fight on Thessia. You're not as weak as I thought. But never forget that your best wasn't good enough to stop me. Now an entire planet is dying because you lacked the strength to win. The legend of Shepard needs to be re-written. I hope I'm there for the last chapter. It ends with your death.

-KL



APRIL 12, 1987 - 3:14 AM
I woke to find an alien standing homosexually at the foot of my bed. I was unable to move, shocked at how incredible his body looked, My wife slept next to me as the alien slid his long fingers down my abs and into my briefs.

THAT GALACTIC TWINK ABSOLUTELY SUCKED ME DRY
He blew me like I've never been blown before - he understood ♥♥♥♥ mechanics for he had a great ♥♥♥♥ himself (I saw it). That greedy, little, gay alien abducted all of my ♥♥♥, and when he was done he did a little spin then jumped into his UFO and flew away.
Next thing I know, I'm sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast with my wife who's staring at me like she knew something ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up just happened. I told her nothing of my encounter, but she could tell that I ejaculated every last ounce of heterosexuality out of my body, Later that day she divorced me.

My alien experience changed me, and no one will believe me when I tell them that it left me absolutelyy gay. Sure, I never liked breasts - and sure, I prefer the company of strong men (they make me feel safe), but now I'm the one roaming the planet looking for close encounters of the same-sex kind. Please, heed my story - it's really hot.

Think you've got the whole story? You have no idea. That alien sucks his ♥♥♥♥ for like forty-three pages.

Action Park[en.wikipedia.org]
cant even die right...[conniptions.gives]