Raping Little Tree Monkeys since 1992!

Simian Raticus (Sumatran Rat Monkey) are only found on Skull Island (Southwest of Sumatra). Great big rats scuttled off passing slave ships and raped all the little tree monkeys, resulting in the present hybrid species.

Natives of Skull Island use Simian Raticus in black magic rituals, however these rituals have not been documented due to the secrecy of the natives and their protection of the rat monkey, it is speculated that the rituals involve sucking the blood of virgins.

The only captive specimen was displayed at Wellington Zoo, New Zealand. This animal was tragically killed in 1957 after being attacked by a visitor known only as "Bad Ass Vera"


Simian Raticus frequently carry Singiha (The Bite) disease. Singiha is transmitted by biting. The only known treatment for Singiha is immediate amputation of the bitten body part. Singiha is indicated by bite wounds that do not heal, copious pus discharge, loss of inhibition and frequent biting. Symptoms manifest within a day of being bitten.

Possibly the strangest result of Singiha infection was the birth of Lil' Chew Chew who was the love child of a district nurse and a Catholic Priest, who once proclaimed to "Kick Ass for the lord" Lil' Chew Chew was only observed once, being beaten up by its gaurdian at a local playground after escaping its barb wire eclosed pram, no doubt to curb Lil' Chew Chew's love of flesh.