Together we are strong. Together we are many layered. Together, we are onion.

>Be me
>Get a job working for the government
>A door we aren't allowed to enter
>smells funny
>Kept under lock and key,many layers of security
>The smell is onions
>I deduce that Shrek is prisoner
>Make a plan to rescue him
>Get a cat and donkey
>They can't talk, but will suffice
>Pack donkey with explosives
>Send him towards the door
>He chews through the explosive wire,meaning the device is unable to detonate
>Send cat in to detonate device
>Door explodes open
>Peel through final layers of security
>Open the door
>Get on the floor to bow before the great green
>It's Farquaad
>The onions were wards to diminish his power
>He breaks free from his bonds and flees from the place
>Guards captured me
>Bring me before the leader of the facility
>At least I will die by his hand
>A four legged creature is pressing switches and panicking
>It is Donkey, and it seems like Farquaad wasn't fleeing
>He was headed towards the swamp to confront Shrek
>I run towards the swamp
>I pass many boulders, but none of them look nice
>Finally I get to the swamp
>It has been devastated
>There is a crater in the ground where the hut used to be
>I have killed Shrek
>I fall to my knees and weep
>"What's the matter laddeh?" A familiogr voice says
>I turn and see Shrek, covered in gore and drinking an eyeball martini
>I asked him what happened
>He tells me he was interrupted in his hibernation
>He exploded in rage, and slew the person responsible
>He offers me a sip of the fermented alcoholic beverage
>I drink
>It is bitter, but familiar and comforting
>The world turns into a blur
>I wake up back in bed with a massive hangogre
>The only trace of last night was a message from Shrek, telling me he saw me Shreking him out...








>And the pungent ogre semen leaking from my ass

http://imgur.com/EPKg4cp