...but now I have one.

...and you've joined it.

Congradulations.

...I guess? I don't know. What do you say to someone when they've joined a steam group?

"Beware of robot monkeys."

There. I said it.

Should I have bought a gift? Should you have? I'm not sure the ettiquitte is well established yet. Okay, I guess all customs have to start somewhere. I'm going to lick my elbows in the customary steam group welcome greeting.

Actually, no I'm not. I just tried. It's really hard to lick your elbows. Try it. See?

So licking elbows is out. I guess the customary greeting could be *attempting* to lick your elbows... but that seems a bit weird. Well, weirder.

I mean, are you really attempting to do something if you know it to be impossible? Sure, when you join your first steam group you'll attempt to lick your elbows. Just to fit in with the crowd. However, after that first attempt you'll know it can't be done - and after that you're not really attempting to do anything but hold your arm in an awkward pose and wiggle your tongue pointlessly. You'd be succeeding at that, but you're not really attempting to lick your elbow at that point. You're just attempting to have the appearance of someone attempting to lick their elbow.

I don't think that counts. Except for the first time, maybe.

I guess it would work if people could only join one steam group. We could call it the Elbow Lick Foreknowledge Conundrum Repetition Avoidance Policy (E.L.F.C.R.A.P.)

I wonder if valve would consider that as an enhancement? Please ban all users from joining multiple steam groups, due to the unwanted spread of insincere elbow licking attempts.

No, I guess not. Hmm.

Okay, how about this. Let's celebrate your new membership in this group with a secret handshake. No, I won't tell you what it is or it wouldn't be a secret, would it? Just shake your hands, you know, secretly.

Are they shaking?

Great. Now try to peel a grapefruit.

Pretty difficult, huh? Yet, still somehow easier than licking your elbows. Go figure.

Welcome to the group. Please make yourself at home.