THIS IS WAR!

Hello maggots. If you are here, then you must be a weak, selfish, SPINELESS COWARD!!! But this is alright. I (sexy me) will train you dishonerble hippies to become soldiers of war! I will make a MANN out of you!

I will train you to FIGHT!
I will train you to KILL!
I will train you to SEDUCE!

Heh heh....You maggots are in for it now! I will post important events you MUST attend no matter WHAT! The first sucker who doesn't follow the rules will find MY FOOT IN THEIR ASS! The next losers won't be nearly as lucky to have a man like me shove my foot up their ass. What do you expect your punishments will be? Well I guess that depends on how sexy the maggot is that broke the rules in the first place! Ha hahaa ha HA HAAHA HAHA!!!!!!

You are to follow my every command until you are a soldier, a true warrior of the team!

If I tell you to get on the fronts, GET ON THE FRONTS!
If I tell you to help capture the point, CAPTURE THE DAMN POINT!
If I tell you to make out with each other and go all the way to third base, then HAVE THE BEST ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ TIME OF YOUR LIFE WHILE DOING SO!

-slaps you across the face-

Now that we have an understanding, let's begin. It's haircut time, hippies!