Gather around the Lag Co' Retro 50's Politically Incorrect Branding Machine, children, and hear another thrice times a lady, twice nightly, once weekly fleetmail from Uncle Regulus and his pet Jackel Puppy - Saturn.

Not gonna mention any names, but somebody bit Echo the other night and now she's lost her depth perception and one of her legs randomly fell off. Not pointing any fingers, just don't ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ do it again - in the current economic crisis LAG can't afford to keep putting Echo back together after a coffee-fueled rampage. Duck-tape, rubberbands and legbraces don't grow on trees, people!

Have you ever heard of Raptr? No, nor have I, but Cryptic have! Starting today (6/9/12) if you start using Raptr while playing STO for a certain amount of time - you'll unlock some amazingly mediocre prizes! Including a one of a kind box of stuff with dilithium in it and a monkey pet! There's hours of fun right there. Check the STO frontpage for details ;)

In the next... *shakes snowglobe* 5 days and 14 hours, Military Tier Three will be finished! Once it has Starbase Tier three will begin! This particular grind of grinds will require a fistful of dilthium, a boatload of Fleet Marks & an arse load of green duty officers. Fun.

Have you been on TS recently? Are YOU one of nearly 60 fleet members that have/do frequent it on a regular basis? Are you the last person to hear of Fleet Mark missions, PVP or STF runs happening? Is there a joke going around the fleet and you have no real idea where the fak it orginated from? Come to our TS3 server, we have three-legged chairs, second hand doughnuts, air (for earners) and a masstive stack of Flintstones Porn. Frankly, what more could one ask?

Do you like doing disgustingly easy things for reward? Does wearing a funny hat and having pictures taken of you in strange stances appeal to you? Then the contests at lagfleet.enjin.com/ might just be where you should be! For guides, gossip and... erm, gallons of contests to do - head to our website :D

All I have room for >.<
-Reg.