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近期公告

2024 年 12 月 14 日 - ♥ Bradley ♥ | 0 条留言

So yesterday my dad was doing his daily filming of my kegel exercises (to make sure I am consistently improving what he refers to as my "brown button clenchers"). I tend to get very camera shy because when I was younger my babysitter would always film me when I was on the toilet which made me uncomfortable but he would always reassure me that this was a totally normal and very important part of making sure a young boy grows up to be big and strong. Today I was feeling very shy and wasn't performing well with my clenchers so my dad suggested to help me with my camera shyness that I do dress-up so it doesn't feel like I'm the one on camera. He took me to his wardrobe and showed me his collection of fishnet leggings, 6 inch pumps, leather crop tops, lash extensions, wigs, and makeup. He helped change outfits and get "prettied up" (his words). Since apparently every dad and son does this together I didn't ask any questions, but while he was dressing me up he kept muttering something under his breath. I think it was along the lines of "my boy is a slut and I love it" and "can't wait to tug one out and think of this later"... But maybe I was just hearing things, because I don't think my dad would say that. Anyways, part of the way through filming with my cool new outfit my dad strapped fake breasts on me and said it was to help me with my balance during my exercises. Why they needed to be so big I didn't know, but he reassured me that its all part of the normal process. Eventually I really had to use the bathroom. My dad doesn't like taking too many breaks during my exercises but I really had to go so I asked him. He told me that this means I am about to hit the next stage of my clenching abilities, and that I shouldn't resist and let it all come out right here right now. I hesitated and he hit me really hard (one of his love taps he said). Out of shock my bowels and bladder emptied and went through the fishnet leggings and all over the floor. My dad said to wait there and he left. 5 minutes later he came out dressed as a "business baby" (that's what he called it). He had a tight dress shirt and suit jacket on, a denim diaper, a bonnet, and a binky. He then proceeded to take my excrement off of the floor and put it in his own diaper. Then his face turned really red and then purple as he proceeded to empty himself into his own diaper and then excitedly shouted in a baby voice "family soup!". He said on the floor and started bouncing up and down and the mixture of poop and pee started to squish around and squirt out of the diaper, and the front of his diaper got very large for some reason. I have never seen my dad so happy.

Does anyone else's kegel sessions with their dad go like this?

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!!!!SCIENTIFIC BREAKTHROUGH!!!!

2023 年 8 月 7 日 - Johnny Marino | 0 条留言

ICEYBOYZ BEWARE! This is a journal on my discovery of the creation of life. This is highly frowned upon in the “scientific” community.

Day 1,
Today started off great. I was enjoying my morning television and auto-erotic asphyxiation session, as per usual. (I was totally about to goob!) But I accidentally changed the channel from Bob the Builder to the Animal Planet! This sudden change nearly caused me to black out and fall over, but thankfully I was caught in the arms of my John Cena cardboard cutout. (What a hunk!) It was at this point I realized that the animal planet was airing a special on everything that lays eggs. This got me really curious and kind of jealous! So, I decided to see if I could raise a bird myself!

Day 2,
This morning I decided that I should try to lay eggs like a bird. So, I prepared a nest made of sheets and pillows in my front lawn, then I went to my fridge and started to swallow a carton of eggs whole. Luckily, I have a talent for fitting my fist in my mouth, so I put down a whole carton with ease! I got really excited after this and took a whole box of laxatives to speed up the process. When I went back to my nest to roost, I was attacked by my neighbor’s dog! It totally scared me, and I ended up not only ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ blood, but I prolapsed on my own sheets! I knew there had to be another way.

Day 3,
Today I was hit with a stroke of genius and luck. First, I decided that I needed to get myself into the right avian mindset, so I covered myself in glue and feathers. Then went to the local Zoo to watch some of the larger and more exotic birds in action. While I was taking some notes a Zookeeper took notice of my birdlike appearance and tried to tell me to leave! It was at this point I jumped into the Ostrich exhibit and tried to blend in with my avian brothers! I thought I could hide amongst the baby Ostriches but this only provoked the larger males to assault me. But with a blind stroke of luck, I was able to snatch up an Ostrich egg and run out of the park! This experience did leave me very bruised and now I am missing my left ear.

Day 4
I knew I needed a new approach to this egg. I went down to China Town to consult the wandering magicians I had seen under a bridge. I was enlightened to learn that the egg must be fertilized, unfortunately I couldn’t get back into the zoo again. So, I knew that I must fertilize the egg with my own seed. Thankfully I snagged a needle from under the bridge to get my goob through the hard outer shell. This part was easy because I love to goob! So, I sat down and watched the sweet life of Zach and Cody until I produced a cup of my own seed. Then I injected it straight into the egg. After this I wrapped myself, and the egg in a large blanket for the night and slept.

Day 5
It was at this point I was concerned that the egg needed more heat. I ran to my closet and pulled out my limited-edition Barbie Easy Bake oven and began setting it up. I cranked it on high and left its door open next to the egg. Unfortunately, it seemed as though it wasn’t getting hot enough, so I figured it needed more power. I took a live wire from the fuse box in my house and redirected this to the oven. I also ran a wire straight to the egg to shock some life into it. Upon flipping the switch, a massive jolt of power went into the oven and caused it to spontaneously combust! This not only broke all the windows in my house, but it filled my room with black smoke. This gave me INSTANT BLACK FACE!! I ran around my house in fear of never changing back for quite some time… But more importantly I took a flashlight to the egg and noticed something was inside of it!!

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