The Holy Rible!

Below are a list of rules you must obey if you want to get into Poolian Heaven and not on the other hand, have your genitals tickled, with a feather, for an eternity in Poolian Hell.

You may ask, "Hey, what are the benefits of following the Poolian way and why should I join?"...
Well, good sir or madame let me take your eyes on a journey below...

-Benefits-
1. Anime Girls with Pink Hair are on demand.
2. 20% Discount on all M&S products.
3. Free signed copy of Rypools Top 10 pickup lines.
4. A documentary on the making of Rypool, the uncut edition.
5. Free Scotch.
6. "Did ye, aye" is an now an acceptable response, no matter where you're from.
7. The chance to meet new people and have a giggle.

-Rules-
1. You must worship our lord and savior, Rypool, at least once a week (this can be done with Steam donations, but complimenting him works too).
2. You are not permitted to date Asian girls, as they belong to Rypool. Unless it's a threesome approved by Rypool himself.
3. You are never faster than Rypool, he is "2 fast 4 u".
4. Your current climax face will be replaced with this one ---> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
5. On Sundays you must eat Haggis and wash it down with Iron Bru, whilst wearing a Kilt and listening to Elvis bagpipe instrumentals. (not entirely required).
6. Horses and Cats are sacred animals and symbols of the Poolian way.
7. Whenever Rypool initiates the Conga all Poolians must participate.
8. Don't be, "one of those guys".
9. If you're not Scottish, you're a Geordie. Even if you're not. You are.
10. Rypool has first dibs on Gamer Girls that enter the server and present Poolians must find out if she's available... for Rypool.


BouncyBalls and DarkBalls are Keepers of the Holy Rible and are also to be respected... or feared. Either way is fine.

(Not to be taken seriously, this is light hearted fun and we are in no way offering free things nor are we intending to offend other religious groups).