FBI, please send help

The people in this group are beyond being saved. They have all given into the dark side, so to say. If you see one on the street, throw a rotting banana at them and scream to repent. You should also call in the FBI, as they are the only ones capable of freeing them from the point of no return. If you really need to save yourself, and there is no phone nearby to call the FBI, I recommend having Phil Swift saw a boat in half. It will show them all the power of FlexTape, and they'll leave you alone.