you don't understand
what this pain is doing to me
i don't recognize my friends
i can't remember their faces
i feel my bones
locking out of place
i am trying to heal
but i am beyond repair
how much longer
am i supposed to do this?
how many cracks
until i shatter?

i left you behind
and the pain caught up to me
i’ve gotten too old
to outrun my mistake
i'm too tired
to grapple with revenge
my stomach hurts
my eyes ache

i can’t yell anymore
i don’t have it in me
i need a minute
can you please just stop
maybe i should just leave
until i’m better
this isn’t who i am
i don’t want to die like this