‎Did you know that drunk drivers are one of the most oppressed minorities out there? Big Water has consistently convinced people that drunk driving is an incredibly dangerous practice, when in actuality, sober drivers are responsible for 80% of all car crashes. This makes, statistically, a drunk driver 5 times safer in a car than a drunk driver. This data is also greatly skewed by Big Water’s bias, considering every crash involving a drunk driver is blamed on them, regardless of actual fault. Pedestrians injured by drunk drivers are almost always jaywalkers, and the notion that pedestrians always have the right of way is just another sneaky way Big Water has tried to antagonize innocent booze cruisers by painting reckless criminals as “victims”. Aside from not impairing driving, alcohol can also reduce risk of heart disease ,Alzheimer’s, kidney stones, and blood sugar imbalance, while improving socialization and sex life. Despite this blatant evidence that alcohol doesn’t harm a driver’s ability to function behind the wheel, Big Water will still try to brainwash everyone into being discriminatory against booze cruisers. Alcohol is a holy medium to communicate with God’s holy machines (cars) more effectively, and denying people this simple joy is clearly a violation of human rights.