Primary for Heavy
Base: Brass Beast
http://psteamcommunity.yuanyoumao.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=256473248&searchtext=

( + ) +100% accuracy
( + ) +100% faster firing speed
( + ) Requires no ammo
( +/- ) Overheating: After 5 seconds of constant use, the weapon overheats, causing the weapon to be unusable for 3 seconds. However, the last 2 seconds of this weapon being used causes targets to be ignited.
( - ) 50% slower spin up time
( - ) Fires tracer rounds (to give the laser effect)
( - ) Spin-up causes the weapon to create a loud charge-up noise

Primary/Secondary for All Classes (Primary for Spy and medic, Secondary for everyone else)
Base: Boston Boombox

( + ) On Taunt: Start to conga, creating a radius effect around you, causing any damage taken to be reflected 100% back, along with forcing them to taunt with you. Anybody, including teammates, that enter the radius, are also forced to taunt, and cannot stop taunting until you do, in which case they will all be forced to stop, and any enemies that were caught get killed.
( + ) On Taunt: Replaces the normal conga music with one of the following songs:
Caravan Palace - Rock It For Me
Caravan Palace - Lone Digger
Mystery Skulls - Freaking Out
Daft Punk - One More Time
(HIDDEN: 1% chance to play the Spider-Man 2: The Game Pizza theme, which upon ending, instantly kills EVERYONE dancing, not only enemies)
( - ) Once started taunting, cannot stop until song is completed

Hey, I made a joke weapon thats like a hot potato kind of thing. Heres a non-joke weapon of it.

Melee for Scout
Base: Sandman

( + ) Alt-Fire: Fire a hot potato which, on hit, tags the target, highlighting them to all teammates and starting a 30 second ticking countdown on that target. After 30 seconds, the target explodes, instantly killing them and damaging enemies nearby, causing 3 seconds of bleed damage.
( + ) On hit: Cause the target to explode with a -70% damage penalty on the explosion. Also causes them to bleed for 3 seconds after the explosion.
( +/- ) Target hit is invunerable and only able to use melee whilst tagged.
( - ) Does not start recharging the hot potato until target is hit. If target is not hit, adds 25 seconds to the recharge time
( - ) Target can hit foes to pass the hot potato to them. After passing, they have 3 more seconds of invunerability, the inability to attack for 3 seconds and a speed boost for 3 seconds.
( - ) No random critical hits

(yes lower case pizza)
Secondary for Scout
Base: Flying Guillotine

( + ) On throw: pizza auto targets an enemy and flies directly to them
( + ) +10% faster projectile speed every 2 seconds
( + ) Goes through literally everything
( + ) Once the Spiderman 2 Pizza theme is complete: Explode, instantly kiling anyone in the radius
( +/- ) Target is invunerable and unable to attack with anything but melee whilst targeted. Dies when the theme ends.
( - ) On throw: Plays the Spiderman 2 Pizza theme ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czTksCF6X8Y )
( - ) Never directly hits the target, but rather circles around the target. If the target dies, the pizza finds another target to follow.
( - ) Can TAG enemies with melee like the HHH, which causes the pizza to follow them instead.

Basically a game of hot potato. Also this weapon is probably possible, since you could just place a timer on the projectile that, after 1 minute and 27 seconds, it creates an explosion with a +100000% damage bonus so that it even kills ubercharged players. Or, if you want, you can make it so its a regular explosion that instakills the targeted player, but any other play hit takes the initial splash damage and bleeds for 5 seconds.

Primary for Pyro
Base: Degreaser
http://psteamcommunity.yuanyoumao.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=93438747&searchtext=

( + ) Alt-Fire: Use ammo in the same way as the flamethrower, but rather than fire, it emits poisonous gas that stays in the area it is fired in for 10 seconds. If enemies run into this, they bleed for 5 seconds, which stacks for every 1 second the enemy is in the gas. Pyro's are immune to the gas.
( - ) -50% damage penalty
( - ) Cannot airblast

Introducing... S+M1!

Melee for Engineer
Base: Wrench
http://psteamcommunity.yuanyoumao.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=7191&searchtext=classic

( + ) On ally hit: Give the target 50 overheal (Non-Decaying overheal). Stacks up to max overheal. If target is not at max health, it will automatically give them overheal once they are fully healed.
( + ) On hit: Bleed for 1 second
( +/- ) Uses ammo instead of metal to repair and resupply
( - ) -72% damage penalty
( - ) No random critical hits

Based off the TFC stats

Melee for All-Classes (aside engineer and spy)
Base: Homewrecker
http://psteamcommunity.yuanyoumao.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=116770715&searchtext=

( + ) +15% faster swing speed
( +/- ) On Hit: Swap with the enemy. This includes swapping places, health, ammo, penalties, bonuses etc. If health is more than your current health, overheal. Ammo maxes out if it is more than what you currently have.
( +/- ) This weapon has a large melee range and deploys and holsters slower
( - ) On Hit: Razorback stun (so that you cant continuously hit them over and over again)
( - ) No random critical hits

might be a bad idea but i thought it'd be pretty fun

I was told to put these terrible ideas in here since it could probably work as a joke weapon:

Primary for Sniper
Base: Huntsman

( + ) +25% faster taunt speed
( + ) On Taunt Kill: Gain a speed boost and 50% higher jump, and become semi-transparent
( + ) +10000% damage bonus for taunt kills (can damage invincible enemies, as damage higher than 9999 can kill uber)
( - ) -100% damage penalty (does not apply to taunt kills)

The rest of these weapons have basically the same stats so yeah.

Melee for Heavy
Base: Fists

Melee for Scout
Base: Sandman

Melee for Soldier
Base: Escape Plan
( + ) Taunting does not kill self

Melee for Demoman
Base: Eyelander

Secondary for Pyro
Base: Shotgun

Primary for Pyro
Base: Rainblower

Secondary for Pyro
Base: Scorch Shot

Primary for Engineer
Base: Frontier Justice

Melee for Engineer
Base: Gunslinger

Melee for Medic
Base: Ubersaw

Melee for Spy
Base: Knife

ok thats all of them i think

I'll put this weapon in here as well as the april fools thread since it could probably work as a regular weapon, albeit for 1 class rather than all of them

Primary for Spy and Medic, Secondary for every other class
Base: Banana Peel

( + ) When placed: Any enemy player that stands on the banan peel will be pushed towards the direction the player who placed it was facing, and gets a razorback stun.
( + ) On Environmental Kill with this weapon: Insantly recharge for another banana peel
( - ) When stepped on 3 times, disappears
( - ) Can be destroyed by bullets or melee

Heres an idea that could probably work as an actual weapon

Primary for Spy and Medic, Secondary for every other class
Base: Banana Peel

( + ) When placed: Any enemy player that stands on the banan peel will be pushed towards the direction the player who placed it was facing, and gets a razorback stun.
( + ) On Environmental Kill with this weapon: Insantly recharge for another banana peel
( - ) When stepped on 3 times, disappears
( - ) Can be destroyed by bullets or melee