Big Bill Hell's Cars is the meanest car dealer in the town of Baltimore, founded by the meanest sons a' ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in the state of Maryland. Yeah, that's right, we sell cars!

Good THE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ BEST deals!

Big Bill Hell's offers the most diverse selection of ♥♥♥♥♥♥ cars you wouldn't want to drive in your entire lifetime! These cars are usually bought from various crackheads around America such as your wife, your mom, and even from Toyota! They are all bought in extremely ♥♥♥♥♥♥ conditions, and possess plenty of deformities such as a missing bumper, a ♥♥♥♥♥'s dead body stashed in the trunk or a malfunctioning gas pedal! We guarantee that the second you start the engine and drive it an inch, your car will immediately blow itself up to smithereens, possibly spawning a nuclear explosion and killing you and others in the vicinity of a mile! But don't worry, you wuss, it's not like you can even start the car in the first place.

I'm calling the cops.
Go to HELL!

Big Bill Hell's Cars, as seen on TV!
and don't forget to visit our West Coast affiliate!