♥♥♥♥♥ stole my bike? More like:
An adult mature member of the modern society, of a darkened skin pigmentation with ancestory reaching back to pre-historic neolithic roots, appears to have escaped from within my easy reach without verbal or written consent, within possession of a two-wheeled manually ridden vehicle named the 'bicycle' that originally belonged to me, and said gentlemen shows no intent to return my vehicle; and forthwith the actions commited by the darkly pigmented gentlemen - I strongly show disapproval for.