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报告翻译问题

These are my jewels, so shiny, so clean.
Many have wondered where my nuts have beeen.
The nuts they had nutted , the sights they had seen.
Admire my nuts while they work as a team.
These are my balls, i think you'll enjoy them.
They're so clean cut that you'll want to employ them.
If you had an army you could not destroy them.
Yes thay are my balls only i can deploy them.
Some call them testes, and others cojones.
If I had the money, I'd build them both homes.
Or teach them to juggle and answer the phones.
When sweaty , my nutsack smells sweet, like cologne.
Yes these are my balls, and they are the best.
I wish i grew testicle skin on my chest.
The nut-hairs i shed, i knit into vests.
So lets all ride my testes, together...out west.